SOMETHING NEW: Check out The Friendship Blog Connection on Facebook
A number of posters have asked for a way to connect with others who are interested in online friendships. On a trial basis, I have created a new Facebook group, called The Friendship Blog Connection, for that purpose. This might be a place where you can interact with a new person, begin a friendship, and then take your conversation to the next level off the page.
Facebook calls this type of group a “closed group:” Anyone can see the group and who’s in it but only members see posts.
HOW TO JOIN THE GROUP
To join The Friendship Blog Connection, go to this Facebook page and click the upper right side: Your request to join will need my approval.
HOW TO BEGIN POSTING
Use the sharing tool at the top of the group to Post an Update. You can also post a photo or video, or pose a question. If you’d like, you can include your location and tag other members of the group in your post.
HOW TO CHAT
- When you want to chat with a “friend” in the group, click the wheel icon at the top right corner of your chat window.
- Select Add Friends to Chat… from the dropdown menu.
- Enter the names of the friends you want to add, then click Done.
HOW TO USE THE E-MAIL ADDRESS FOR THE GROUP
When a member sends an email to this address, the message is posted in the group and other members are notified. If a group member responds to an email notification, the response also shows up as a comment on the group post.
INFORMATION ABOUT NOTIFICATIONS
Group members get notified about all new posts in a group unless they choose to restrict their group notification settings.
EMAIL ADDRESS FOR THE GROUP
When a member sends an email to the address below, the message is posted in the group and other members are notified. If a group member responds to an email notification, the response also shows up as a comment on the group post.
TERMS/ GUIDELINES FOR USE
In addition to Facebook guidelines, Friendship Forum Guidelines.
- Always be cautious of protecting your safety and privacy and that of any friends or frenemies you may mention in your posts.
- No posting of advertisements permitted.
- If you own a website with information directly related to the topic being discussed, you may link to that page of your site. Any veiled efforts at self-promotion that aren’t relevant or genuinely helpful will be
deleted. - Personal attacks on other commenters will not be tolerated. You are free to challenge someone’s point of view, but please do so respectfully. Any posts containing name-calling, profane language or personal attacks will be deleted.
- Please do not repost anyone else’s work without permission.
- The Friendship Blog is not responsible for any member-posted
information that violates copyright law.
FOR MORE INFORMATION
If you are interested in participating, please bookmark this page. As I mentioned, this is new terrain to me, too! So here is the place on Facebook that answers FAQs on Groups: https://www.facebook.com/help/groups/basics
Hope this is useful to you!
Best, Irene
Category: MAKING FRIENDS
I just found this website, & I realised there are many people who feel alone. Although thank God for the internet, many end up on this website. Although I am married, my husband has his activities keeping him busy, while I stay at home by myself. I do volunteer work: i keep busy doing crochet {hat, scarf, slippers, blankets, sweaters, toys: dolls, Teddy bear, etc.) for children in a daycare. But sometimes I wish I had a sister or a friend to whom I could talk or write. My parents & my 3 siblings have passed, I am alone without any family. My husband? Well, how is the title of this book again: Man are from Mars & woman from Venus? As for my friends, well, they all have family & are busy, or live far away. We exchange a card at birthday or for the Holidays. As far as going out, it almost mission impossible, I suffer of chronic back pain due to injuries I got in a car accident, & it’s getting worst with age. I have a dog & 2 cats, but it’s a one way conversation!… About 2 years ago, I started a group: Friends of animals & nature (to protect the belugas from a pipeline project that is supposed to cross the river, potential leek problems = bad for the belugas & the environment). I like to read, or watch movies while I knit & crochet. I try to keep busy, but I miss a close friend in my life.
I have been trying to have friends in my life. A bit hesitant to go out and make that start. so was surfing the web when I came across this blog. Hopefully my search will end here.
I am 54 and when I moved to this apartment it was my 54th move in my life. I grew up in foster care (30 homes) and have seen and experienced some of the worst abuse known to mankind that a child could experience. At 52 I was diagnosed with a neurodegenerative disease which can take my life in 1 to 20 years. I have no family, no husband or children. No friends from childhood! Alone but not!
I had spent so much time on comparing myself to the world around me and looking for someone else to find me when in fact I am the only one who can do this! I have learned to take small steps (even at times just 5 to 10 minutes) in the here and now and enjoy what I do have. For example, my rabbit, Chunk’s. It is not easy and hearing there are those worse off than you, or other quick cliche’s well as most know are useless! On the other hand if you take some of them and work them into your life, it can make a difference for the better.
I am and have been on therapy so it is not like I am on my own with all this but instead of looking back or forward, I have had to work daily just to look at today! Make the best of it that I can and when opportunities present themselves take advantage of them! I reach out to others like at the stores, art shops, library, etc. Because I am physically limited, I also go on Facebook or forums just to connect to others.
It takes work, but it can be done if you really want to enjoy life! Even if life means this very day! If you are not dead you are living life but the quality of that life is really is up to you! If need be reach out for professional help, read self help books of self-esteem, happiness, etc. and you can find a place of feeling peaceful and content within!!
Hope this can actually help someone who may be going through a tough day?
Thanks so much for sharing this, Betty. Wishing you peace for the holidays.
Irene
Thank you Irene and I am also wishing you peace for the holidays – 🙂
I have a Facebook account but keep it for Family and very close person friends so I don’t have Facebook friends by the hundreds, just a manageable 58 and that includes grand kids etc. That, to me, is the way to manage Facebook. I have never had a Facebook issue to be honest. For other things, there are other sites that cater to your need, like Google +, Tumbler, Pinterest, Twitter or WordPress as well as other lesser known social media outlets. Find the one that serves what you want, they are all different and have fun. Here in Australia we have Meetup groups. I think they are international as well. Thousands of different interest groups that cater to people with similar interests meeting up for coffee, or a night out in a group or many other things. I belong to 9 in total, all different outings and interests from camping, to music to motor bikes. Try them our here
http://www.meetup.com/
I won’t join your Facebook group because of the above reasons but I respect your right to manage your own blog in the way you choose. Thanks for the invite though. Respectfully Rain
My gut reaction is bleh when it comes to Facebook. I’m so over it. But after reading recent things on this blog I want to post just to say this: It’s Irene’s business. If she wants to have Facebook here, so be it. Her blog, her rules. If I don’t like it, I don’t have to sign up for it. Posting over and over again to bellyache about Irene’s decisions about how to run her own personal blog is ridiculous.
Irene’s solution requires that I must have an account at facebook in order to log into her Friendship Blog Connection that is to be able to receive an email address from a person here. I am sorry, I am not keen to have an account at facebook, never. So, Leslie, if you are reading this I am sorry we have to find another way to exchange emails, this site have deleted your email address, very sorry.
I am wondering if I can leave a link to a penpal site here…??
I couldn’t agree more. I thought fb had taken a turn for the worse with the general public, i.e., people spending less time on there and several ‘friends’ deactivating their accounts, but I guess I was wrong. I deactivated my account a year ago and reactivated it a month ago, only to re-deactivate it again today. Honestly, there is little good on facebook. I think taking the forum to facebook is fraught with negative consequences, especially since I’ve seen how ugly some people can get with others on this forum that’s suppose to be for others to share and not get attacked or grilled for their posts, but that’s not how it is 100% of the time. There are such things as ‘trolls’ and you don’t want them getting your real name and picture. I won’t be on fb anytime soon to see how it plays out, but I do wish Irene the best, even if I don’t agree with the facebook group.
Facebook isn’t really as bad as any other place like google+ ( never join that! I have learned the hard way. ) And people can track you easy. The only way you can get out off that is deleting your google accounts. And by that, I mean ALL. Everytime you. Like a I like picture, It leaves info on you. People will find out anything about you. If you want to go there, use only friends ( the ones that can see what you post.) Circle of friends..and more… people can start digging for Info. It can get very complicated. I hated it after a bit.
And had to shut it all down. Google likes to link all
your places you have together, saying it is making it easier for you. No not really.
There are settings a person can use. Some you can
keep very private.. you have friends, family and if you post , you can make it to where only certain people can see it.
Don’t give away too much information about yourself. And don’t use your REAL name. A partial name is ok.
Some people are too accepting of others to be a good true friend. Remember…there are parasites and
vultures out there. Seriously.
If you choose chat, it is safer I guess. But I like writing by email only. Not snail mail. Do not give out your home address!
There are some penpal sites out there on the internet.
I have been to some. One site in particular…will ask people for money, want your snail mail ( home address) to write to. Some are innocent, BUT, if they
are bad people, they will know exactly where you live. Some of these people say they ” like the personal touch” or ” like to collect the stamps from many places.” So it is hard to know. Some are truthful and
some are not.
Personally I don’t trust the ones who will not write by email.
Make a special email address just for that purpose only. One with no information on any credit card information or any transactions or very personal information. They can dig if they know how.
I had one person from a penpal site tell me what city I lived at. Well..he thought so. If you unplug and plug your router back in, it gives off another IP address.
And if you use a cell phone or something like it, turn off the GPS while talking. Some people can triangulate where you might be. Most times that is unlikely, but better safe than sorry.
The world is different now. People are different.
So please be safe and not give out a lot of what you know. And remember….on e you say something, it will ALWAYS remain out there. You can never take or get it back.
The good thing is, you can still have friends out there. 🙂 Just be careful.
I hope this helps some.
Lynne
I do have to admit that you have me almost wanting to re-join FB, just to be a part of the Friendship group there…..lol
Take care.
Jacqueline
Love to have you join my group Love friendship connections. It is a Christian group of friends. Plant love and leave heart-prints of compassion, understanding and support and prayer.
Absolutely! It’s just one more option..
Best, Irene
Irene, for those who choose to stay on your blog and also want to meet serious people for new friendships, we can use a “dummy” email address. And then proceed to our real address and name, when we feel comfortable. (Like was suggested recently.)
Facebook, like here, has nice and not so nice people :)) So, nothing has really changed.
There will be no changes here so people who want to remain anonymous can do so. Facebook is just another option for people who want to actually meet people by real names.
Best, Irene
Irene, people who wants to remain anonymous still can remain anonymous, and people like me who wants to exchange emails can do with ‘dummy’ emails as Jacqueline is suggesting, why not?
Hi Muna,
This site is simply not set up for that purpose. There are other sites online where you can meet people and exchange contact information for the purpose of dating or making friends with built-in security protections. The purpose of the site to discuss the common dilemmas that pop up in friendships and offer crowd-sourced advice.
Best, Irene
Although I see the benefit of starting a group for those who are fans and in need of connecting to others to foster friendships. I also understand why many comments about Facebook have been negative, even though my overall experience with Facebook has been ok; Facebook can be an unpredictable beast or blessing depending on the user and scenario. I regrettably will not be joining the group. My ex-bff blocked me, so I can not block her, because she did it first and I do not know the email address she used to start her account. She can unblock me at any point, which at this point I don’t care, because she can’t see much with the general privacy settings I have in place. And at this point, if she would check a mutual fb friends page or have them check mine, they all see that I am just living my life, which essentially is no threat to her nor fuels her fire of discontent with me. But, why I won’t join or post on the Friendship Blog Facebook Group is because at this point I need and am comfortable with the anonymity of this blog. I can’t afford to put my name to a group or blog, where if my ex-bff finds out I post on, because depending on her mood, it could be detrimental to my physical and mental well-being.
See, during the last confrontation we had, she had told me about how some of our mutuals were treating her differently and said if she found out I was talking about her, she would come back to my residence and “wouldn’t be so nice” because I had to remember she grew up in the hood (meaning — she would beat me up). And honestly, the only people who really know my side of the story are few and not connected to her. Everyone else, if they asked, I have just expressed that our relationship was unhealthy (which is the truth) and left it at that, because I am not going to be one who makes our mutuals choose alliances, in which I told her. The covert (and direct) threats are nothing new to me, in the dozen or so years of our friendship, I have experienced them before, and seen others have them thrown at them. Though she never did physically harm anyone during our friendship, she was emotionally abusive to individuals who “hurt” her (myself included), and I have heard enough stories from her and others to know she was very capable of crossing the line into violence. Add the fact that she prides herself on being crazy and loves that people are afraid of her … well, it’s like Maya Angelou says, “when someone tells you who they are, believe them.” So anonymity and this blog works for me. I feel safe here, and want to keep it that way. And although, I am doing my best to live my life without fear of her, fact is, I still am — Facebook is too uncontrollable that it may just be tempting fate, at least for me, for a retaliation.
You just forgot where you posted it:
https://www.thefriendshipblog.com/forums/making-new-friends/i-am-tired-being-lonely-and-have-no-friends
Best, Irene
I commented about being disappointed the Friendship Blog has now gone to the Dark Side, aka Facebook. It looks like the comment has been deleted, so I’ll try again. Many people on this blog have written about friendship heartaches and problems that were compounded by the whole Facebook component: being defriended; being subjected to nasty comments; having to see their “friends” post about activities with other people while ignoring them; etc. It’s surprising with so many people having negative experiences the Friendship Blog would now add Facebook as an option. Also, with the fights that frequently break out on the Friendship Blog, won’t they get uglier when they are acted out on Facebook??? I hope this time my comment gets to stay and doesn’t get deleted.