A new beginning—but I don’t want to be alone

Published: May 28, 2012 | Last Updated: May 28, 2012 By | 4 Replies Continue Reading


Hi Irene,

I’m 27 and have never had what I have felt is
a real friend. I just got out of a three-year relationship with a great guy but
he just wasn’t great for me at this point in my life; I was never in love with
him. I have been in a few long-term relationships for the sole reason of not
wanting to be alone since I don’t have any friends.


I’m on the second day of my singleness and I already
want to run back to him because I’m lonely and have no friends. I have always
been the one that’s had to put in the effort to make the friendship work, I’m going crazy because I am outgoing and social and I want to
travel and party but I have no one to do these things with. My ex-boyfriend was
the only one that would call me now my phone doesn’t ring at all, I feel like
disconnecting it! Please help! Oh, and is there a way we can post a picture to
go with our name on here when we post?

Signed, Kim



Hi Kim,

It’s always hard to lose a close friend—romantic
or platonic—and not feel a huge absence in your life. The first days,
weeks, and even months, are the worst because so many of your thoughts and daily routines are
likely to be associated with the person. The upside: You say that you are
social and outgoing so it is likely you will have opportunities to find new
friends and, perhaps, a new love. Use the time you have recouped to meet others.


In response to your question about posting
pictures, I just announced that a new Facebook page, The
Friendship Blog Connection
, that has been created to enable posters to
connect with others. 

Read this recent
blog post
to find out more about the Facebook group.

Best, Irene



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Comments (4)

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  1. Anonymous says:

    …to be a good friend? I have some friends, but not a ton. I guess I’m about average at making friends, but assume that the reason I don’t make more is that I’m not the best at it. People talk a lot about learning to go out am meet people, but really that isn’t that hard. What is hard, if it’s not natural to you, is to learn to be the kind of person people want as a friend. I finally stumbled on writings about being a good listener (which I previously had thought incorrectly I was) and that helped a lot. But why aren’t these and other skills taught when we’re young?

  2. Anonymous says:

    sorry, I meant Kim

  3. Anonymous says:

    Hi Irene

    Reading your post sounded exactly like I feel. It was the same things that I feel and think. I understand the feeling, it’s so lonely and dark.

    All I can do is try and have some, any, a little hope but its easier said than done. Like you I am social and like to party but dont have the close friends that I wish I had. The friends I do have treat me like a convenience and I feel used.

    I hate this loneliness

  4. Anonymous says:

    Thanks Irene. I was one of the members who wondered how to get in touch with others. I just now requested membership on Facebook. Kim, I could have written that letter myself. I think I understand how you feel.

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