• Other Friendship Advice

Worried about being separated from my friends in high school

Published: October 8, 2014 | By | Reply Continue Reading
The move from middle school to high school can be challenging socially and academically.

QUESTION

Hi,

I’m in a big dilemma right now and really need your help. In our country, students don’t move from class to class; here the teachers move from class to class so the students stay together for the whole year and remain together in every single class.

My problem is that I moved to a new city last November and I settled quickly enough into my new school but that was the middle school and now we’re in high school, which is a different campus.

All my friends from my previous class are here, too. Here, you have to take a combination of thee subjects along with compulsory ones such as English, math etc. According to the subject combination, you get into a class.

My entire previous class is taking physics, chemistry and biology as their subjects as almost all of them want to study medicine. So they are all in the same class (every single one of them). I don’t like biology and I don’t want to study medicine later on so I wanted to take a combination of physics, chemistry and IT which will automatically put me into another class, away from my friends.

I’m really anxious about leaving. I don’t want to. It’ll feel like being in a new school all over again and I just settled in with the previous girls. My mom told me that I go to school for making my career, not for friends, and that friends come and go but I’m still so queasy and worried sick! Can you please help me out?

I’m extremely serious about school but friends are really important to me (I’m also very friendly and confident and so my mom says I’ll make new friends). Please tell me what to do 🙁

Signed, Betsy

ANSWER

Hi Betsy,

I understand how much you want to stay with your friends. Socializing is a big part of the high school experience, and the transition from middle to high school can be difficult.

I’m impressed that you’re strong and insightful enough to realize you aren’t interested in the same career path as your friends. Having different goals is difficult when every one of your friends is going in another direction.

I agree with your mother, that in high school, taking classes geared toward your career goal can help you decide if you’re really interested in that type job, as well as prepare you for some of your college classes. Your mom is also right that you will meet new friends, but that doesn’t help you feel better about leaving your friends and making new ones.

The good news is that you’re friendly and outgoing, so people will naturally be drawn to you. You have all the skills you need to have a successful social experience in your new classes and this will be practice for meeting new friends in college. Your friends who are going into medicine will still want you to spend time with them on weekends and outside of school, so you’ll have old and new friends.

Good luck with school and your friends. While I understand your nervousness, I think it will turn out better than you might be expecting.

Signed, *Amy Feld


*Amy Feld, PhD, MSW has trained and worked as a child psychologist.

Disclaimer: Nothing in this or any other post is intended to substitute for medical, psychiatric or clinical diagnosis/treatment. Rather, all posts are written as the type of advice that one friend might give to another.

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Category: Child and adolescent friendships, OTHER ADVICE

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