• Keeping Friends

Worried about dating a guy she met through a friend

August 17, 2015 | By | 3 Replies Continue Reading
They met through a friend and she doesn’t want to do anything to threaten her friendship.

QUESTION

Hi Irene,

I’m in love with this wonderful guy. We started out as friends and he recently told me he is in love with me—but didn’t tell me sooner because he was afraid to ruin our friendship.

We both love each other but I have not made a decision yet because I met him through my friend. He was interested in her (2010) and they kissed…but my friend chose another guy over him. I recently asked her if she felt or feels anything for him she said no. Is it bad if I date him?

Signed, Celia

ANSWER

Hi Celia,

First, congratulations on finding someone whom you want to date and get to know better. It’s nice that you got to know each other as friends first. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with dating someone you met through a friend. Unless I’m missing something, I’m not sure what the problem is:

  • Your friend hasn’t been interested in him for a long time and chose another guy.
  • You considered your friend’s feelings, asked how she felt, and she said your dating him wasn’t a problem for her.

The only thing you haven’t addressed is whether you are concerned that he still has feelings for your friend. If that’s not an issue, I’m not sure what’s holding you back.

Best, Irene

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Category: KEEPING FRIENDS

Comments (3)

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  1. Maddie says:

    I don’t think it says she asked her friend how she would feel if they dated.

  2. Amy F says:

    You asked your friend if she had feelings for him, but you never asked her how she would feel if you dated him or told him about your feelings for him. I wonder why. What held you back?

    Regardless, if you want to date him, date him. I just wonder about your relationship with your friend since you went about asking her opinion in an incomplete manner. She might be put off because you felt her out rather than being direct about the question.

  3. QueenNeferiti says:

    I would definitely date him. Congrats!! Hope he doesn’t have feelings for your friend; that should be your greatest concern

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