• Other Friendship Advice

What Do You Do When An Online Friendship Begins To Feel Creepy?

Published: July 2, 2021 | Last Updated: July 28, 2021 By | 5 Replies Continue Reading
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

A teenager feels uncomfortable with an online friendship and asks what she should do at this point.

QUESTION

Hi,

Almost every day I go on Skype to chat with friends or play games online. I play with about five friends and one day my friend brought a new guy into the group. I didn’t really know him but I talked to him with other friends. But he started to get really creepy.

He wanted to know everything about me and would ask me sexual questions, and I would feel really awkward. He began looking up my information and telling me what he knows about me. It got scary.

My friends started to give him information about me and even sent him pictures of me while I was at school. I always told them to stop but they never did.

I finally told the guy to stop, as it was weird and creepy. He now knows my address, phone number, school, and city, mail information, pets, siblings, etc. and I told him only my name. I really didn’t want this to continue. He would start swearing at me and make fun of things he did know about me.

My friends were all there and laughed. I confronted my friends and told them, “This is bothering me, please stop.” They always tell me I’m over-reacting to this online friendship and that he has done no harm. But I feel like none of them care.

He keeps making fun of me and not once out of these two months has someone said stop. I really don’t know what to do anymore.

Signed, Mia

ANSWER

Hi Mia,

I think you have good instincts to be concerned about this guy and the online friendship. It’s always better to play it safe than to be sorry afterward.

You don’t know him and I’m not sure whether your friends really know him either. He shouldn’t be teasing you or talking to you about sex, nor should your friends be encouraging him.

You need to be firm, direct and consistent both with him and with your friends. Let them know that you have no interest in being involved with this guy. Unfortunately, this may mean you have to remove yourself from group chats so everyone knows you are serious. You may also need to change your email address and password.

It is very important that you let your parents know what has happened immediately so that a responsible adult is aware and can look out for your safety.

I’m glad that you brought this problem to the attention of others. It’s easy for anyone—children, teens or adults—to inadvertently get involved in a dangerous online friendship because people have no way of knowing who is really on the other side of the computer.

Some resources for you to read, and share and discuss with your parents:

My best, Irene

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Category: OTHER ADVICE

Comments (5)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. Tiffany says:

    Absolutely do not EVER give out your personal information online to strangers. I guess this was a lesson learned. Sorry you had to deal with such a creep, and he does sound creepy from all you described. I think everyone here gave you good advice. Stay safe!

  2. Denise says:

    Mia,

    I’m sorry you’re going through this. The most worrisome things about this are:
    “He wanted to know everything about me and would ask me sexual questions”
    “He now knows my address, phone number, school, and city, mail information, pets, siblings, etc.” and
    “My friends were all there and laughed. I confronted my friends and told them, “This is bothering me, please stop.” They always tell me I’m over-reacting and he has done no harm but I feel like none of them care.”

    I hope you have since cut off contact with everyone involved. You can’t take any more risks about what any of these people will do or say. Definitely tell a few trusted adults as backup in case this creep comes to your home or school. Block everything you can. I hope your siblings watch for anything unusual at home. People who laugh and continue to contribute to someone’s discomfort are NOT friends. Hope to get a happy update one day soon.

  3. Maddie says:

    Never ever give you real name and address to anyone on line that you do not know really well in real life. You can play games and Facebook with your first name and a generic last name like Smith. Do not disclose where you go to school. If someone gets weird with you, immediately block them. You don’t need anyone’s permission.

  4. Elizabeth says:

    Above all, just as Irene said in her answer: Let your parents know this happened! Anyone who threatens you by telling you they “know about you” or have information on you is bullying you. The fact that this bothers you — and you know it’s wrong — shows that you have good instincts, just as Irene notes. Follow those instincts, and talk to your parents, or even a school counselor.

  5. Lucy says:

    Quit all contact with this guy. This is all wrong, even if it’s just in “fun”. You said to stop, and they keep persisting. No means no. Period. I would distance yourself from these so-called “friends”. At the very least, they are extremely immature. There are better people out there who will respect your feelings and not use you for a laugh at your expense. You should never put up with harassment like this.

Leave a Reply