What do I say to my friend having a facelift?
Even if you don’t agree with a friend having a facelift, there are still ways to be supportive.
QUESTION
Hi Irene,
I have a friend who is having a facelift. I don’t think she needs it, but she going to do it anyway. She is a little miffed that I’m not more excited for her. How can I be more supportive? Also what should I say and do after she has her operation. Thanks!!
Best, Siri
ANSWER
Hi Siri,
The decision about whether to have plastic surgery to improve one’s looks (like religion and politics) is quite divided with people having strong opinions on both sides. It sounds like you may have already expressed your opinion to your friend and she decided to go ahead with the facelift anyway.
Therefore, I think the decision about whether or not to do it is past. Now figure out how you can be a supportive friend: Bear in mind that she may be a little bit nervous about her decision and apprehensive about the procedure. Does she need someone to help her with driving afterwards? Shopping? Or something else?
After the surgery, tell her you are pleased that things went well (with no untoward problems) and that you are pleased for her. If she looks better, of course, you can say that too!
Don’t let a difference of opinion on such a personal issue have a negative impact on your friendship. Hope this helps!
Best, Irene
Category: KEEPING FRIENDS
I would voice concerns, but be supportive of whatever they are doing. I don’t care if people have plastic surgery, but I hate when they lie and expect me to lie about it as well. Own it. I have no interest in being around ANY kind of LIAR.
100% agree Irene. Plastic surgery is divisive not least amongst my friends. It’s really your friends perogative if she wants to go through with it so, now your feelings are clear, you just need to agree to disagree and be supportive of her needs pre and post surgery. Everyone does it for different reasons and maybe she has a lack of self confidence issue. As such be there for her, be supportive, help as needed and she’ll really appreciate the support. Nothing says I love you as a friend than supporting someone even when you think they’re making a bad decision.
Hope it all goes well
Grace
I agree, Irene. Having plastic surgery is a very personal decision; one that, in my opinion, other people needn’t judge. What is right for one person is not necessarily right for another but that does not mean the friend cannot be supportive.
I’m thinking that silence about that issue is probably the best policy — certainly better than lying. I guess you could say something like, “I think you look just fine the way you are, but I’m here for you if you need help before or after the surgery.” This response assumes that you don’t think she’s a high surgical risk for some reason.