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I am being phased out by a friend, I considered to be close at the time. While I was in teacher’s college, she cared for my son. Once I returned from college, Since the summer, things have died down. She does not call me anymore, she does not email me anymore, we get together once a month and it is me initiating the contact. She usually has a New Year’s Eve party and this year, I am curious as to whether my husband and myself will even be invited.

I am pregnant now and even then, she does not seem to care that much about it. I know she served a purpose for a time in my life and now it is ending. Our friendship started 2 yrs ago and now it is already ending.

I guess I find my friendships as an adult do not last as long as the friendships I made in high school. I have two friends that I still talk to from high school and that is it. The longest lasting friendships, almost 20 yrs. Now, since I became a mom, people come and go so quickly and mainly it is to get together for our kids.

I feel sad and depressed and wish I knew her reasons for phasing me out. Although, she has a lot of her friends still in tact from high school because she went to school here and never left, neither did her friends. Where as I came from a small, low income, red neck city and most people that wanted to make a life from themselves had to cut ties and move, which is what I did, go to university, college, etc, most people in my neighborhood could only dream of that, or they were too busy drinking, working in bars, getting pregnant right after high school.

So needless to say, I came here with my husband alone and am trying to make a life for myself, she is established with her friendships and sometimes I feel it is not me, but she just has closer connections with others and I am fairly new, so I am being excluded a bit more.

Many of her friends are also unmarried, divorced, no children, whereas I am one of her few friends that is in a happy marriage like she appears to be with one child and another on the way. She tends to be drawn to those that do not have as much as her, or the desired families that she likes to give the impressions she has with her her husband and their two kids.

Maybe things are not perfect for her and she likes when people need her like her divorced friends and she likes when others have more problems than she does. Her best friend is single, no children and lives with her and her family. These are woman well into their 30’s. I just figured I was more like her with the marriage, the kids etc, only, I could never have a friend living with me because I like my alone time with my family. Her best friend is considered her family. Yet, I feel it is not healthy for her friend who could meet someone and be loved. I just feel that she will hold her back from doing that. She is very forceful in her opinions.

I am hurt, but phasing out is a part of life I suppose and I must accept it. Our sons are both 3, do you think they will notice or care?