UK Mail: Why did my best friend dump me?

Published: December 27, 2010 | Last Updated: December 27, 2010 By | 3 Replies Continue Reading

How the end of friendship is as painful as divorce


By Mandy Francis

UK Daily Mail – December 27, 2009


"You’ve bought each other carefully ­chosen Christmas presents for decades, but this year there was no ­beautifully-wrapped gift from your best friend under your tree – and there was a gap on your mantelpiece where her witty card packed with best wishes would usually stand.


Experts claim that breaking up with a close friend can be as ­devastating as a divorce, but what should you do when your best friend suddenly decides to call time on your relationship?…


‘Women’s friendships can be very close and intense – so it can be as painful as breaking up with a partner when things go wrong,’ says clinical psychologist Irene S. Levine, author of Best Friends Forever: ­Surviving A Break Up With Your Best Friend.


‘Women also tend to see their ­friendships as a measure of their worth, so when a relationship with a close friend breaks up, not only will you feel hurt by the rejection, but you are also likely to feel a ­failure for not being able to ­maintain that ­friendship, she says…’"


To read the entire article, click here.



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  1. Elizabeth C. says:

    Okay so I met this girl Yuan and we have been friends since school started and we really close and everything then changed last Friday she was acting all mean and I didn’t know why. Then Monday came and she stared hanging out with my friend Ashlyn that shes only known for 2 years and I’ve known her for my whole life it kinda strange every time I try to start a conversation with them or start talking in yuan looks at me disgusted and it hurts me because I’m nice I her and now she is turning me off why? Please reply I’m really confused right now!

  2. Candy Cane says:

    🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁

  3. Candy Cane says:

    I had 2 best friends for 6 years and I left a year ago to go to another school but decided to come back 2 my besties cuz I missed them 2 much after all we had heen bffs for 6 years and when Igot back I descovered that my 2 bffs were now each others besties and not mine they called each other bffs but not 2 me but they were still friends to me but thwn sometjing happend between them and they werent besties anymore and they we with other people (my friends )but not with me so I dont knkw of im even there friends any more or even if they like me pls help and some of my friends left so now I feel more alone then ever and a couple of my friends are kinda mean 2 me 4 no reason so lls tell me what to do 🙁 1 of my friends made plans with me 2wice this winter breack and then canceled at last min both ti es so what do I do :(:(:(:(:(:(

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UK Mail: Why did my best friend dump me?

Published: December 27, 2010 | Last Updated: December 27, 2010 By | 2 Replies Continue Reading

In Sunday’s UK Mail, journalist Mandy Francis wrote about her experience of being dumped by a friend without warning or explanation. Years later, she still feels the hurt. "One consolation is that when I’ve talked to other female friends about my experience, many of them have similar tales to relate," she writes.


Many women have a back-story of being cut off from someone whom they considered as close as a sister, so her article hit a chord among readers. As of this morning, there were more than 100 reader comments offering a variety of perspectives. Some were from dumpers; others from dumpees.


Mandy interviewed me and author Susan Shapiro Barash. You can read the article and our advice here.

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  1. Anonymous says:

    It does suck. That’s for sure. I’ve had it done to me and I’ve also done it to others.
    People do come into our lives for various reasons and at different times.
    I guess there’s no guarantees to say that we are going to remain friends forever.
    Personally I can count on one hand, my close and lasting friendships, and most of those are family.
    We can all be fickle at times.
    Although it can be hard to let go of a friendship, console yourself by realising that we cannot force others to remain loyal to us or to love us.
    Best to use that energy to look forward and to move on.
    Somebody else will be more deserving of your friendship.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I am being phased out by a friend, I considered to be close at the time. While I was in teacher’s college, she cared for my son. Once I returned from college, Since the summer, things have died down. She does not call me anymore, she does not email me anymore, we get together once a month and it is me initiating the contact. She usually has a New Year’s Eve party and this year, I am curious as to whether my husband and myself will even be invited.

    I am pregnant now and even then, she does not seem to care that much about it. I know she served a purpose for a time in my life and now it is ending. Our friendship started 2 yrs ago and now it is already ending.

    I guess I find my friendships as an adult do not last as long as the friendships I made in high school. I have two friends that I still talk to from high school and that is it. The longest lasting friendships, almost 20 yrs. Now, since I became a mom, people come and go so quickly and mainly it is to get together for our kids.

    I feel sad and depressed and wish I knew her reasons for phasing me out. Although, she has a lot of her friends still in tact from high school because she went to school here and never left, neither did her friends. Where as I came from a small, low income, red neck city and most people that wanted to make a life from themselves had to cut ties and move, which is what I did, go to university, college, etc, most people in my neighborhood could only dream of that, or they were too busy drinking, working in bars, getting pregnant right after high school.

    So needless to say, I came here with my husband alone and am trying to make a life for myself, she is established with her friendships and sometimes I feel it is not me, but she just has closer connections with others and I am fairly new, so I am being excluded a bit more.

    Many of her friends are also unmarried, divorced, no children, whereas I am one of her few friends that is in a happy marriage like she appears to be with one child and another on the way. She tends to be drawn to those that do not have as much as her, or the desired families that she likes to give the impressions she has with her her husband and their two kids.

    Maybe things are not perfect for her and she likes when people need her like her divorced friends and she likes when others have more problems than she does. Her best friend is single, no children and lives with her and her family. These are woman well into their 30’s. I just figured I was more like her with the marriage, the kids etc, only, I could never have a friend living with me because I like my alone time with my family. Her best friend is considered her family. Yet, I feel it is not healthy for her friend who could meet someone and be loved. I just feel that she will hold her back from doing that. She is very forceful in her opinions.

    I am hurt, but phasing out is a part of life I suppose and I must accept it. Our sons are both 3, do you think they will notice or care?

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