Two friends live far away and run out of things to say
Living far away can pose challenges to a friendship.
QUESTION
Hi,
Me and my BFF live far away from each other but we still Skype every night. What are some things we can talk about?
Signed, Leigh
ANSWER
Hi Leigh,
It’s nice that you and your BFF still stay in contact across the miles. Sometimes friendships become more tenuous when friends live far away because they have fewer shared experiences—whether the two friends are adults, teens or children.
If the conversation has begun to feel forced and you’re not coming up with enough things to talk about during your nightly conversations, you might want to reduce the number of times you speak each week.
Perhaps, you can send each other short emails on the days you don’t Skype each other. Also, you may want to figure out a way to occasionally visit each other or meet at some mid-way point.
Do you have other friendships with friends who live close by so that your social life doesn’t only revolve around this long-distance one?
Hope this helps.
My best, Irene
Some prior posts on The Friendship Blog about long-distance friendships:
- Moving and leaving my best friend behind
- Nervous about my friend moving on
- Distance between friends
- Long-distance best friends who live far away
Category: KEEPING FRIENDS
I’m jealous. About a month ago I asked my BFF from 11 yrs old if we could use Skype and her response was, “Nah, I don’t need to see you to talk to you. ” I was so deflated.
Every night seems a bit much. Once or twice a week seems much more doable.
I know exactly how this goes…I have a friend who, for 20+ years, we were as close as close can be..We lived in the same state for those years and always spent time together..Most of our free times were together…Anyway, my friend and I both left the state we lived/met in..I don’t live days away from her…we live about 6 hours apart, but those hours lead to lack of seeing each other and spending time together…Each have different lives now and her, more than I, has spent that time with those people..I have no real friends were I am b/c I am disabled and don’t do much to get out nor do I like where i live, but I digress…The thing is, I am happy you two can speak all the time, but everyone is right..Quality is far better than quantity..Just talk when you can, and not every single day..it is hard, even for the best of conversationalists, to keep up meaningful talks like that….Cherish your time that you two put towards your friendship..It’s obvious that you two really do care about one another…I wish i felt the same..I feel it is more like Out of sight, out of mind with my end of things….
I would speak less often to have more meaningful discussions. Think quality not quantity.
It’s wonderful that you make this kind of effort to stay in touch with a dear friend. Not many people do that, in today’s busy world. That said, I don’t think I could talk to any friend, in town or out, every single day and NOT run out of things to say, I like the idea of sending a quick text daily to check in, say hello, and limit the longer Skype conversations to once a week. That way, you will be able to review everything that happened in your week — and you won’t run out of things to say. Of course, if something comes up that you have to share, you could call in more often. But absence makes the heart grow fonder, even in friendship 🙂
Exactly what I was thinking, about Irene’s advice! It sounds as if you are talking to each too much, and have nothing much to say.
Or, you could just check in with each other for a few minutes/day, just to say, “Hi, how are you? How was your day? I miss you.” (You don’t necessarily have to skype each other all the time either…This can be done through email, and, perhaps just skype on the weekend.)
This will also take the pressure of you.