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Should I go to my friend’s party if I don’t like some of the guests?

Published: November 26, 2012 | Last Updated: November 26, 2012 By | 5 Replies Continue Reading
Going to a friend’s party is different than choosing to hang out or go to dinner with friends of a friend.


Hi, Friendship Doctor!

I have a bit of a dilemma. I have a friend from work (I will call her C) whom I have been close with for a few years. I used to hang out with her and a few of her other friends.

I had to distance myself from two of them: One was saying very unpleasant things behind my back; the other kept criticizing and putting me down.

C knew about the whole situation and I told her I am not trying to put her in the middle or make her take any sides, just that I don’t want to hang with those two. So C and I would spend time together. But now she has invited me to her New Year’s party, along with the other two friends I don’t get along with.

I’m debating if I should go, ignore them and have a good time, or not go and save myself the stress and drama. What should I do? Thank you for taking the time to read my question!

Signed, Arielle


Hi Arielle,

It seems like you have worked out this problem with C and her friends pretty well. You don’t like two of her friends, you let her know, and you both arranged things so you don’t have to be with them.

A party may be another situation. There are likely to be more people there so you don’t have to cozy up to the two women you don’t like; you can find other people. Also, your friend is the one throwing the party. Her choices were to invite you and her friends or to leave someone out. I think she made the right decision by inviting everyone.

If you want to go to your friend’s party, you can minimize the stress and drama by being cordial with the two women you don’t like and spending your time with others at the party. I think you should go and have a good time unless there is something else you would really rather do on that evening.

Hope this helps.

My best, Irene

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Comments (5)

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  1. Megan says:

    I know this is old, but I hope people read my response. Let me get this straight. Your friend knows that her friends are saying nasty things about you behind your back? Correct? Your friend knows that her friends are putting you down and verbally bullying you? Correct? Then she is not a friend at all. If I have proof that a friend of mine has bullied another friend of mine I will drop them faster than a Russian satellite. Act like a b**** to someone else, someone who doesn’t deserve it, and I will walk out of your life so fast.

  2. Coffee says:

    I wouldnt go, ur friend probably invited you u to not leave u out, but ultimately its your choice. after some drinks, u dont know what might happen. if ur not going to have a good time andy ur constantly going to be watching your back, then take a friend to make you make u company.

  3. Suzanna says:

    Is there any possiblity of drama at the party between you and the other ladies? If so then stay home..to go to any situation knowing your presence could cause things to take a bad turn is not worth taking that chance…to do so could jeodorize your current friendship..but I assume this is not likely since she invited both of yall…So.if just awkwardness then by all means go.

  4. Sally says:

    Arielle, I think it’s really mature of you that you’re weighing whether or not to go to the party as opposed to just automatically declining the invitation just because of these 2 women. I’m sure that your friend will appreciate you being there and being willing to support her, in spite of your feelings for her other friends, which she is aware of. I know that if I were in C’s place, I’d feel pretty honoured to have a friend who braved a bit of discomfort in order to support me!

    • Megan says:

      C isn’t a friend. A real friend would never remain friends with someone who bullies another person. C is well aware that her two friends were treating Arielle like shit, and she chooses to remain friends with bullies. That’s not a true friend. Drop her.

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