• Few or No Friends

My teen feels rejected by friends and wants to end his life

Published: April 29, 2013 | Last Updated: April 2, 2016 By | 7 Replies Continue Reading
The words ”wants to end his life” should be cause for concern for any teen parent.


Hi Irene,

My 15-year-old son is outgoing and seems so serious that he has a hard time relaxing and just being happy go lucky. He is friendly but when he asks kids to come over, they decline most of the time. He rarely is invited to parties. He is down about it and says he should just end his life.

How can I help him make friends and enjoy his teenage years?  As his mom, I’m not sure what to do to help. Your suggestions are appreciated.

Signed, Leslie


Dear Leslie,

The words ”wants to end his life” should be cause for concern for any parent. First things first: While it’s hard to know whether or not this represents a real suicide threat, you should treat it as a serious plea for help and respond accordingly.

I would strongly encourage you to arrange for your son to be assessed by a mental health professional, someone who is experienced in working with teens. Please read this fact sheet from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, which may be helpful to you and other parents dealing with such difficulties.

I hope this helps.

Warm regards, Irene

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Comments (7)

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  1. Buster S says:

    Dear Leslie,
    Sorry your teen is not about and super Up where he should
    be! He NEEDS a friend and that Very Friend should be You
    He’s probably ashamed to tell You maybe thinking it might
    below his (manhood) but he NEEDS for You to LISTEN to
    what’s botteling him inside? He’s Your Pride and Joy as to
    any Child but he’s asking You for Love and to Listen to him
    and for friends, what more could he ask for? He’s got YOU!

  2. Ethan says:

    That’s what’s happening to me too……but I was told to commit suicide.

    • Friendship Doc says:

      So sorry that this happened to you, Ethan. Did an adult or friend tell you this?
      Best, Irene

      • Ethan says:

        Yup sure did……..

        • Michelle says:

          Ethan, if it was a teenager that told you this, please inform your parents about it so that they can talk to school authorities/parents of the teenager. THAT teenager has a problem. If it was an adult that told you this, they should be reported to the police. I’m sorry some douchebag told you this.

  3. Susan says:

    Hi Leslie,
    I grew up without many friends. Some of us just don’t fit in as well with the status quo. I turned to books and found it helped me get through those awful teenage years. Please let your son know that this part of his life is SO Temporary! Over the next couple of years, so much will change. He is far from alone in this. Many many people deal with isolation… and we all grow up and as we get out in the world and discover others with similar interests (i.e. as we go to college or get a job we enjoy) we naturally make friends. Even though he feels bad now, help him to understand that the pain he is going through will help him become a more compassionate person, who is capable of great empathy. It is something that will be much more valued as he grows a little older. Above all, don’t let him give up. Look into getting him involved in something outside of high school. There are volunteer organizations, sports, and all kinds of activities he could try where he could make friends. Even if he never does make many friends at this age, please remind him how wonderful YOU know he is. Make sure he feels loved and appreciated and TELL him that the wonderful traits you see in him now, will be seen by others as he matures. NAME the traits you appreciate in him – his thoughtfulness, his energy, his honesty, his kindness, etc., etc. At that age, kids need so much encouragement. Don’t let him brood. Learn the warning signs of suicide. Seek professional help for him if he continues to exhibit them. And above all, let him know that “this too shall pass!” and that you love him and are there for him no matter what.

  4. Sonji says:

    I’m so sorry to hear that. I’ll be praying for your son. God loves Him so much! I went through something similar in my early and teen years. Sounds like he just needs to find kids he has something in common with. I know that can be difficult as well but since he’s outgoing it will happen eventually. Just keep reminding him how special and worth it he is and tell him to keep being his wonderful self. Remind him that patience is the key. Hope this helps.

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