• Other Friendship Advice

My high school friend is suicidal

Published: December 3, 2015 | By | 2 Replies Continue Reading
A high school junior’s friend is suicidal and he doesn’t know what to do.


I’m a junior in high school. Someone who is very attached to me, who calls me her best friend, has said to me that she is suicidal. She also says she doesn’t want to lose me, and that I make her happy. She’s very fragile and I am unsure of what to do. Any advice helps.

Signed, Daniel


Hi Daniel,

I’m glad you wrote asking for advice. What a responsibility and burden your friend has placed on your shoulders!

A friend of any age can’t be held responsible for someone else who is threatening suicide.

But any threat of suicide needs to be taken seriously. You need to tell your friend that because you care about her, you want her assurance that she will tell a responsible adult, either her parents or a teacher, about the way she is feeling so she can get proper help.

Additionally, make sure that your friend knows about hotlines if she feels like she is in crisis:

  • A free 24-hour National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (funded by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services) is available to people in crisis (or their loved ones) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Calls are routed to local crisis centers.
  • In the UK or Ireland, Samaritans offers confidential support at 08457 90 90 90.


At the same time, I would advise you to speak to your own parents to let them know that you are struggling with this situation and to get their advice. You may also want to speak to a counselor at school in confidence.

I hope you will read these previous blog posts that also should be helpful:

My best, Irene

*Nothing on this blog is intended as medical advice, just the type of advice one friend would give to another. If you are concerned about your health or that of someone you know, consult a physician.

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Category: OTHER ADVICE, Teen friendships

Comments (2)

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  1. Mrs. Chen says:

    Get help for your friend. But also talk to someone yourself. You can’t be anyone’s “happy”, but your own. Be there for you friend, especially now. But know that you are not her “happy” nor are you responsible for her decisions. You are just a 16-yo kid.

  2. Amy F says:

    Having a friend who is suicidal isn’t a problem that kids can solve on their own. You need the help of adults to help your friend. Even if your friend promised you to secrecy, this is a secret you cannot keep. I always tell teenagers that it’s better to have a friend who’s mad at you than one who’s dead. It’s not your job to decide whether she’s serious, that’s something for doctors to help figure out. It’s always best to take your friend seriously. You can talk to your school counselor, a favorite teacher, your parents if they are understanding and supportive, her parents if there’s not abuse or neglect. Please talk to someone today.

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