My friend turned into a monster!
A young woman wonders why her friend turned on her and what she should do
QUESTION
Hi Irene,
I’m having a problem with a former friend of mine. She was nice at first, but then became this monster who started lashing out at me. I stopped hanging out with her because she became verbally abusive. She would call me ugly, stupid, and laugh at me. She would also ditch me when a better offer came around.
Now I hear from mutual friends that my former friend is now bashing and talking about me. She’s saying how perfect her life is and says I’m the one with the problem. I don’t understand. Why is she saying these things? What is going on here?
Signed,
Sophie
ANSWER
Dear Sophie,
I’m not sure how old you are but I’m assuming you’re speaking about a schoolmate. I understand how upsetting it can be when a friend turns on you like this but this woman is a bully, not a friend. You did exactly the right thing by ending the relationship and ditching her.
Ignore her nasty comments and tell your mutual friends you aren’t interested in hearing what she has to say about you. When no one reacts to her, her bashing will become a big bore and she’ll probably move on to someone else.
I’m not sure why she’s acting this way but it sounds like she is an angry, insecure person. Making fun of other people may be her way of making herself feel superior. Your friends will eventually begin to see this, too. If it’s really troubling you or making you feel depressed, you may want to speak to a counselor at school or your mom.
Hope this helps.
My best,
Irene
Regardless of your age, here are several prior blog posts on The Friendship Blog that might be helpful for you to read:
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