In the Media – My best man unfriended me (NY Post)
Today’s NY Post reports that a man was unfriended by his best man after the Election. Although the two men had known each other for twenty years since college, the groom-to-be says his long-time friend deleted him on Facebook (as did some 100 other Facebook friends).
Reporter Gabrielle Fonrouge wrote this story as a follow-up to one she wrote last week about the effect the election has had on friendships. She notes:
“The Post reported earlier this month that the election can do “irreparable harm to relationships,” according to friendship expert Dr. Irene Levine.
In this story, Fonrouge also notes:
“A Monmouth University poll taken in September found 2-in-3 voters believe this year’s presidential race brought out the worst in people and 7% of voters said they’ve actually lost friends as a result.”
The groom-to-be and his once-best-man haven’t even spoken since the Facebook deletion. Although I didn’t interview the man, haven’t seen what he posted on Facebook, and don’t know all the nuances of the situation, it’s hard to believe that there weren’t fundamental differences between the two before this.
Fonrouge notes:
Ironically, Pollakusky [the person who was unfriended] runs Media Barrel LLC, a company that helps businesses with their social media presence. He teaches organizations how to cater certain posts to specific groups to avoid any digital uprisings.
The story is a reminder to exercise caution when discussing politics with colleagues at work or with casual acquaintances. My take: Close friendships with a solid foundation should be able to work through these differences through dialogue or by focusing on the parts of the friendship that drew two people together in the first place.
You can read the article on the unfriending in its entirety in the New York Post.
Category: IN THE MEDIA, Newsworthy
I would unfriended anyone who thought of me as a “hot headed liberal”. The guy seems like a jerk, politics aside. He doesn’t understand this isn’t about a difference of opinions but a difference of values in how we treat and speak to one another. I’m not okay with people who excuse sex assault bragging as locker room talk (even if he never did anything, though claims seem to indicate he spoke true words), racism, xenophobia, mocking the disabled and bullying. That’s humanity, not opinion, I got rid of some acquaintances. I didn’t have any real friends who would have voted for the guy, but if I did, I would need to seriously reevaluate.
Ugh. Too many fractures from this election. And it just keeps piling on.
You’re absolutely correct, Dr. Irene. I’m finding that the election has made me reevaluate a lot of “iffy” or casual friendships that were not built on a solid foundation of frequent communication, lots of personal contact and get-togethers, and, generally, healthy reciprocation.
I won’t let go of friends with whom I’ve had years of great memories and lots of great communication and activities.
However, if a casual friend, neighbor, or acquaintance and I have extremely different politics and world views — and we don’t have a lot of other “glue” or common activities to hold us together — then I have to seriously ask how much time I need or want to spend with that friend.