More than awkward: My ex-friend is still involved with my family
QUESTION
Dear Irene
I found your book exceedingly helpful but I have a personal question. My closest friend began to pull away from a relationship with me, but she continues to want and seek a close relationship with my siblings (multiple sisters) but not with me.
What is difficult is I still find myself in social and family situations due to her doing things with others in the family but not with me. I can’t speak about it to my siblings since I don’t want to create a negative situation, but to be honest, I feel a bit as though I am now competing with her for the affections of my family members.
I am at a loss as to how to best allow the friendship to end without feeling awkward at family gatherings. Any advice would be appreciated.
Signed,
Rosie
ANSWER
Dear Rosie:
Admittedly, this isn’t any easy situation. It seems odd that your friend would continue to seek out your sisters’ company given her decision to end her relationship with you. She has to realize that showing up at your family functions would be potentially uncomfortable for you and for your sisters as well.
You need to talk openly with your sisters and explain what has happened, and tell them how difficult this has been for you. See if they offer any suggestions. At worst, they’ll be aware of your feelings but I suspect they’ll rally around you.
Let me know how it goes.
Best,
Irene
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