• Keeping Friends

In the Media – Keeping long-distance friendships alive (New York Magazine)

March 7, 2017 | By | 4 Replies Continue Reading

NY Magazine (screenshot)

NY Magazine (screenshot)

A journalist offers some helpful tips for maintaining long-distance friendships.

Our society has become far more mobile than one or two generations ago. People are more likely to move to pursue education, careers and romantic relationships. As a result, many of our friendships are also on the move—becoming long-distance ones rather than local.

Writing in New York Magazine, journalist Cari Romm tackles the issue of how to keep a long-distance friendship alive. She writes:

Moving away from a close friend doesn’t mean you stop being close; it just means you have to figure out a new way to do it. It’s not easy in the same way, but it’s not impossible to preserve what you had, either, if you know how to put in the work.

To find ways to sustain these relationships, Romm spoke to several experts including Dr. Levine, The Friendship Doctor. She writes:

…if you’re separated long-term, that point of view shrinks. Suddenly, your relationship is the only part you really have access to, at least in the same way. You don’t have the context you once did. When a friend moves to a new place, “they pick up a new life that doesn’t include the other person — they make new friends, they engage in new leisure pursuits, they may have a new job,” says Irene Levine, a psychiatry professor at NYU and the author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend.

You can read Romm’s article How To Keep A Long-Distance Friendship Alive in its entirety in the New York Magazine column called “The Science of Us.”

What strategies have you used to maintain long-distance friendships?

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Comments (4)

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  1. Laura E Kelly says:

    I was just thinking that I needed to email a friend of mine who moved 3 states away and set up a phone call appointment! It sounds crazy to set up a “friend appointment” but I want to be sure we both have set aside the time to have a good long talk. Email and texting and FB just isn’t cutting it, at least for me.

  2. Ali Wenzke says:

    This is a great article, Irene. Thank you for sharing. I’ve moved around a lot, so I have long-distance friendships all around the country. I love your advice about creating new shared experiences. It’s the perfect excuse for a girls’ weekend!

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