• Keeping Friends

It’s Awfully Quiet Around Here!

Published: September 8, 2016 | Last Updated: September 8, 2016 By | 26 Replies Continue Reading

Good Morning to all!

Am I the only one who seems to be able to post anything????

This new set-up is so simple to navigate around. Kudos to Irene and her tech! It would be nice if everyone else could join me on here..lol…


Comments (26)

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  1. lottie says:

    Hi there Jacqueline and all,

    Glad you posted,I was begining to think everybody had changed their names after Irene cracked the whip about abuse !! Sorry Irene I am taking it seriously, honestly.

    I wanted to mention my teeth Jacqueline but haven’t dared to mention them for fear of changing the subject,and the stray cat,plus what my poodle did yesterday.

    Facebook is not for me and even if it was I wouldn’t know how to make contact with you Kate and the others.

    Hope you get to read this message. I will duck incase Irene sees this. OOUch. Lottie

    • Jacqueline says:

      Hey Lottie!!!

      Glad to see your sense of humour is still intact! Why not start a new thread, and tell us about all that is going on with you???

      I have big news as well….You were not around very much when I mentioned baby steps…as in me becoming a first time grandmother!!! Baby is due beginning of January 2017, and my grandchild will be a girl!!!

      And, I am in the process of moving outta here!!!! Should be in about 2 weeks!!!!!!

      So there, YOU didn’t steal the limelight from my post, I did…lol….

  2. Anonymous says:

    Reading some of the comments regarding lack of friends, it seems most people resent their friends not inviting them back after they’ve had them round several times. Our problem, however, is exactly the opposite. We can’t get them to visit us. Our ‘friends’ never seem to have the time, even those who live in the same village as us – and yet they invite us round to them occasionally. We live in a very nice seaside village/town, popular with visitors during the summer, and easy to get to, but only one or two of our friends will take the time and effort to visit us. Our apartment is small, but modern, tidy and very clean, I therefore don’t think they reject us because of that. My brother-in-law and wife have no problems travelling half way round the world to visit relatives there, but find it extremely difficult to take a train journey, spending no more than 2 hours door to door to visit us. Perhaps we’re not that interesting spending time with – but then, how come they invite us to their place for talks and food? I must admit though, usually they want advice regarding family problems – and as foreigners in the country we often find ourselves sounding boards to the anxious, elitist and problem ridden southern English, asking advice but rarely following any, as their problems is what keeps them going! Perhaps they are takers after all. I know for a fact that, if we needed their help they’d never be there for us!!

    • Melissa says:

      Growing up in the 60’s (I was a child then) I found that so many had those neighbors/friends who would take turns going to each others homes, having meals, card games, etc. Now, it just seems that everyone is so caught up within their own lives, even old friends that used to be tied to your hip, have little to no time for anything dealing with you anymore. I know it’s not then and it’s now, but what happened to actual communication? Having closeness in even a simple phone call? Texting has taken over where the empty feeling emails left off. People get consumed. Not all, but many. I used to be delusional enough to believe that some friends would make the effort if they cared enough, but that has sadly gone by the wayside for many as well. I really try to think positive and make the effort, but when that other end of the line (so to speak) seems dead or uninterested, might be time to permanently hang up that call…That is where I am. I struggle with losing a friend of 33 years, but maybe I was kidding myself that it really was that length of time. I believe that, instead, it may have been for the time we lived near one another, had similar lives and had the time to be with one another. I still love and care about my friend, but am starting to give up.

      • Sandra says:

        I agree, Melissa. Social media and the Internet in general have fooled us into thinking we are communicating more. Actually, we’re just communicating on a surface level. We don’t talk “face to face” as often.

        Today people think they’ve made an “effort” if they’ve sent you a quick text to say “hi”. That’s all very nice, but texting and email cannot replace human contact in person. Here’s the problem: We are all connected to so many people now — because the Internet makes that so easy — that we are spread thinly between our hundreds of Facebook friends and so on. Facebook tricks us into thinking we have a social life. Yes we do, but it’s not in the real world.

        You also make a good point about people not getting together anymore. For the most part, I believe everyone is busy with work and tons of school activities for their kids. Then they come home exhausted with no time for friends. That’s understandable.

        But there’s hope. I’ve found that it helps to make an effort to reach out to my neighbors and other friends I’ve neglected or haven’t seen over the years. Two other neighbors and I formed a bimonthly ladies group of about 9 women who all meet at someone’s house in the evenings, sometimes for coffee, or wine and snacks. It has worked out nicely and we have a lot of fun. If possible, I’d suggest you talk to another friendly neighbor and ask if she would be interested in starting a group like this. I’ve heard of other people who are doing this and enjoying it.

        The only fly in the ointment is that four of these 9 women in my group never volunteer to host a gathering in their homes (and there’s no logical reason for this). The other 5 are getting a little tired of shouldering the responsibility of hosting. So we’ve recently decided to even things out by meeting in a local restaurant instead. This seems to be more democratic and is working out well so far. Interestingly, only one person in the group complained about meeting in restaurants because, as she said, “it’s not as cozy as being in someone’s home.” That comment came from one of the women who never hosts. Go figure. 🙂

    • Troy says:

      First time on this forum..I’m curious what others think about this.Im 44 yr old male,normal,kids are grown,married twice,employed,has friends,girlfriends but my best friend is a young woman who is 20 yrs old.We havent slept together,we click in some way.

      • Irene (another one, not the moderator) says:

        Troy…I’ve come across this before. Her friendship to you may be similar to a father/daughter relationship. She obviously values your aged wisdom and kindness, which is very attractive to younger women. It also depends what kind of relationship she had to her own father, if she knew him at all, and how close they were. The fact that you’ve not had sex, or even demanded it from her, may well be what is keeping the friendship going. I was an only child, and had a strained relationship with my own father. I would’ve loved having a brother or sister – alas, no such thing. So, when I met a man nearly 40 at that time I was fascinated by his knowledge and good sense – I felt safe in his company. When later he married a woman his age I was so happy for him. Think this through before you go any further, and I wish you both all the very best.


        • Irene McWatt says:

          I thought about it, but didn’t want to get mixed up with the Moderator. Thanks for removing my surname – not necessary here.

    • Pam says:

      Yes ,I also run into this annoying situation all the time.True, my place is smaller and not as well suited to entertaining.Even when I do invite most don’t show up, always busy, busy. Same with phone calls which I try to make no just send texts or emails. I am tired of hearing all about their lives when mine, like you mention, must not be quite as glamorous. I am getting better at tossing these types from my life even if they rarely do get replaced by new friendships.

      • Irene (not the Moderator) says:

        Pam…I do feel for you, but I’ve come to the conclusion they have enough close friends, or family, as it is, and are not in need of my company – only when it suits them. So, I don’t call anymore, and if by any chance they call me I just say I’m busy (even if I’m not). If I then hear from them again, within a reasonable time, I’ll say yes, but make sure I let them know I have other commitments that needs seeing to. If you find yourself very short of friends try joining a group that meets round specific interests – perhaps art, learning a new language, politics, crafts, etc. and see if you’ll meet with people who want to be with you.

  3. Christy B says:

    I was wondering why there aren’t new posts on the forum. This site is so helpful to so many people. Hope the forums are active again soon.

  4. Rabbit says:

    Hi Jacqueline, I’m still around, although I haven’t been able to join the forum. Maybe a few others haven’t been able to either. Can only comment here.

    • Jacqueline says:

      Strange. Have you let Irene know?

      • Rabbit says:

        I did, she must have been able to fix the problem. This time I received the email when I reset my password. So I can log in now, hurray :-).

        I think a few were able to register, but didn’t get the email to set the password the firSt two days.

  5. Ellen Spencemoo says:

    Enjoy seeing comments on this blog, as we all know relationships are difficult to handle sometimes. I have to enjoy the friendships that are good, and move on when bad. Sometimes it is difficult to see when folks are using you. So glad we can always start a new day, and meet new folks. I still have some friendships, from a distance meaning not local, and enjoy social media to cultivate them. Have a great day! Thanks, Irene, for this site!

  6. Phoebe says:

    Ugh! Sometimes having friends is so soooo hard. I just wish they knew how I felt and would wake up from their dream lands and face reality. I have this one friend from LA. She’s a bitch. She’s so sensitive and really insecure. She is rich lives in a giant house and gets almost everythING she wants. She’s short and the youngest of all my friends but believe me you don’t want to mess with her. When she opens her mouth. A WAR STARTS!

  7. Melissa says:

    I have posted more than a few times on here for various post types. There are many on here, but some are few are far between with responses. Many do not reply b/c they may not know if they can offer help or maybe they wait as Sandra posted above. Part of me has given up on some of this b/c I feel that there may be so many that some peoples comments are passed by or not even seen, but I fight every single day to keep myself positive and to keep moving forward. Isolation is horrible and for me, I have done this to myself b/c of various reasons but knowing the toll has been huge on my psychological well being. Yes, a smile from someone does help and being out there in whatever capacity is better than continuing to isolate, but sometimes, for me, I wonder why I bother? Anyway, thank you for asking the question and I hope more people can find some help on here b/c I know i could use it to push me along the way…:-)

    • Irene says:

      The more recent posts tend to get more recent “eyes.” You can also post on The Forums, Melissa.

    • Pam says:

      Melissa, I relate very much to what you wrote about trying to keep positive and moving forward as well as the self imposed isolation.

      Am pretty fed up with fairweather friends and other superficial types. Am really missing a true human connection. My young adult kids have pretty much dumped me, rarely call or include me or consult with me. I know that is normal and part of grwoing up but it still is painful.We were once very close. It feels very sad. I work with elderly and small kids so not much interaction with peers,have tried extra curricular activtities,etc but mostly couples attend and they are not looking to make new friends. I try to smile or strike up a
      conversation with strangers even to just have somebody to say good morning to. Often people stop and ask me for directions or what time it is.

      • May says:

        Have you thought about taking class or volunteering? Don’t give up! I know it is tough and being lonely is very isolating. I used to read Anthony Robbins. He said if what are doing isn’t working, change it up. For some people to make friends, it will be easier. For the rest of us, not so much. But we must keep trying. Hang in there.

  8. Sandra says:

    Sometimes I don’t leave a comment when I am not sure how to respond to the problem or question. I usually wait until I feel I have something worth offering 🙂

  9. Sam Chapman says:

    You are definitely NOT alone! And, you’ll find I’ve also posted on here … I just hope people don’t take it as some kind of ‘Ramble’!

  10. CeCe says:

    Hello, my friend, hello!

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