In the Media – When friends fade away
Detroit Free Press (Screenshot)
August 18, 2015
In an article in the Detroit Free Press, reporter Georgea Kovanis describes her personal experience of losing friends who simply seem to “fade away.”
Interviewing The Friendship Doctor and other experts, she explains how painful it can be to realize that a close friend is drifting apart. One reason : Female friendships are so intimate, intense and meaningful.
She writes:
“Men tend to do things together and they have shared activities. But women tend to spend their time together talking about emotions and feelings.”
When the trust is there, women tell each other everything — how much we weigh, how much we spend on bikini waxes, how many men we’ve slept with over the years. We tell each other things we deem too personal or too intimate or shocking to ever share with a boyfriend or even a husband.
The more we tell and listen and invest, the more inclined we are to think our friendships are unshakable. After all, we’re close enough to know each other’s deepest secrets.
To read the Detroit Free Press article in its entirety, click here.
Category: IN THE MEDIA
This is a really good read. I can relate, sometimes friendships fade and there isn’t a reason given. I have been sad and she brings up a good point, to respect your friend’s wishes not to be contacted. I am at a time where I realize that many of the friendships that I have developed throughout various stages (school, job, etc.) are unhealthy and the ones where I put in less energy to where I need to end it have helped me realize how I end it and what to say to the other person. It is harder to say to a friend why you are breaking up. When we talk about our own feelings about the friendship we put ourselves out there and open ourselves up to scrutiny. Thank you for sharing this.
Wow, this is a very brave and heartfelt article. Georgia’s a well-known columnist in a newspaper, so she really put herself “out there” with this issue. Of course, many women will relate. In my experience, when friendships “fade” it’s usually because of some kind of imbalance in the relationship. At first, it might feel OK if one friend is doing all the initiating of activities, or if one friend has a more expensive lifestyle than the other, or if one friend is always hosting and the other friend is always a guest. (I have one friend who never stops talking about anything but her own interests, and I’ve reached a point where our time together is draining.) After a while, any “imbalance” in a friendship can feel awkward. We all want to feel that friendship is equally rewarding for everyone. Sometimes people simple grow and change in different directions.