• Keeping Friends

In the Media – If your girlfriend’s boyfriend disappoints you (Toronto Sun)

Published: June 23, 2016 | Last Updated: June 29, 2016 By | 2 Replies Continue Reading
Toronto Sun Logo

Toronto Sun Logo

Toronto Sun (screenshot)

Toronto Sun (screenshot)

June 20, 2016

What do you do if you can’t stand her boyfriend?

It’s a tricky situation but one commonly faced by friends. Your girlfriend falls in love with a guy you can’t stand. Do you say something to her or grit your teeth and remain silent?

Writing for a number of Canadian dailies, syndicated journalist Simone Paget tells the first person story of encountering her friend’s beau the first time. Her story is entitled, Your Friend’s BF is a jerk; Now what?  I won’t spill the details but in short, this guy did not impress her.

She writes that even making such a poor choice almost felt like her friend had betrayed her. Although she felt like impulsively telling her how she felt about him, she decided to hold off—and to “listen more” and “talk less.”

She interviewed The Friendship Doctor for her story, writing:

“When you don’t like your friend’s partner or husband, it can strain even the best of friendships. It is likely to diminish the amount of time you are willing (or able) to spend with her and together with them as a couple.

Whether you decide to say something or leave your feelings about him unspoken, it can create distance between you and your friend…”

To read the story entirety in the Toronto Sun, click here. The story also appeared in the Edmonton Sun, Winnipeg Sun, Ottawa Sun and Calgary Sun.

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Comments (2)

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  1. Susan M. says:

    You really don’t have to think or feel anything about that person…who lives in another country! You do not report that your friend, is pressuring you about the latter. Just enjoy your friendship with her! A very dear friend of mine, has informed me that she wants me to “embrace” her relationship with her boyfriend. I don’t have it in me, to do so at this time. This has nothing, to do with him; he is a wonderful person! It is a matter, that I will not go into here. However, since they are making long term plans, to be together, it definitely impacts the relationship, we had. Thank heavens, you are not in a similar, situation!

  2. Tanja says:

    I have a friend and I do not like her partner. However, it helps that they both live in a different country. Although, I do not like him, I do understand why they are together and I know that I am nothing to them in that relationship and they are nothing to me, so when we get together once a year, I can hold my tongue and smile and pretend. There is also a big enough group there that I can talk to other people.

    My friend from high school, has some health issues. Many men would turn the other way and not want to deal with it. However, I do find it admirable that he will stay and wants to be there. The very reasons I dislike him are also the reasons why they are together. My friend did tell me that he tends to have friends that are “misfits” somehow and yet he is not. To me, I see it as he wants to be “above” everyone else. He often talks as if he has a great deal of authority, when I do not get it. But, for my friend, she needs a partner that “acts” like that. He cooks, cleans and everything for her and talks “above” in many ways, he likes to be the “hero” and to his friends and my friend, they are the people that need that. I have never been attracted to that type and if a guy tried to treat me as a child and be the “hero” I would break up them. However, I do not have the same health or emotional issues that some people have and for that I am lucky. So, I understand that and I think for her it works and he is a good father and provider and cleans and cooks, etc and he likes to be the “caregiver” so for that I respect that. But how he specifically talks in a group as if he has some sort of authority to the friends that don’t need a “hero” it can be annoying.

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