In the Media – How friendships can improve your romantic relationships (WomensHealth)
Women’s Health (screenshot)
March 8, 2016
In Womens Health (South Africa), journalist and author Sara Eckel writes about “Taking Relationship Advice from Your Single Self.” She notes how marriage or steady romantic relationships with boyfriends/significant others can sometimes get so comfy that we lose our selves in the process. Inadvertently, we may also be less likely to seek out new friendships. She writes about her own experience:
“Last week, my husband and I finally admitted it to ourselves: we’d lost our edge. When we met eight years ago, Mark was an outgoing guy who regularly met up with his mates for drinks and I was Miss Independent, managing every aspect of my flat – from handling the bond and refinance to doing style fix-ups. We were both fun, self-assured individuals. But something changed.
About two years ago, Mark stopped seeking out new friends and now relies on me for his social life, while I’ve lost my house pride and DIY drive. We’re happy together, but the reality is, pairing off can make men and women lazy – we’re less likely to challenge ourselves, meet new people, seek out new experiences.”
In the article, she offers advice for putting a spark back in your marriage/partnership. One of her tips focuses on how friends can enrich your marriage and she quotes Dr. Levine (who is a psychologist, not a psychiatrist):
“If you (and him) the space to pursue your own interests, you’ll be more well-rounded individuals – and a happier couple.”
You can read Eckel’s article in its entirety on the WomensHealth website.
Category: IN THE MEDIA
Great article, Dr. Irene! It’s easy to fall into a comfortable trap with our partners. Sadly, I’ve also seen situations where people from larger families don’t have many friends, or a much of a social life, outside of their own family members. One woman I know is extremely attached to her elderly mom — who’s in great health — and calls her mom “my best friend.” They do everything together on weekends and after work, and the daughter rarely, if ever, does anything outside of work with other people.. I worry about women like that too.