How to Break Up With a Friend: The WSJ interviews The Friendship Doctor

Published: March 27, 2010 | Last Updated: March 27, 2010 By | 2 Replies Continue Reading

I loved speaking with Elizabeth Bernstein of the Wall Street Journal last week and then reading her regular Bonds column that highlighted how painful breakups can be between friends. She offered some great tips to make endings easier.

Here are some of her tips culled from her interviews for the article

• Take a deep breath. If you’re mad, give yourself time to calm down. You want to be sure you really want to end the friendship.

• Try a temporary separation. You might find you miss each other and want to get back together. Hey, it has worked for married couples.

• Lie. Claim to be super busy-blame work or the kids. The experts are with me on this. They say the time to be up-front and honest with your friends is before a breakup.

• Go slowly, especially if it’s a close relationship.

• Foist your unwanted friend off on another friend. Friends of mine have used this strategy on me before. (They know who they are.)

• Become a Facebook pest. I have a gay friend who has had much success getting rid of bigoted high school friends by making his status updates as flamboyant and politically charged as possible.

• Issue an ultimatum-but be prepared to lose your friends.

 

Do you have any to add to the list?

 

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Comments (2)

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  1. Irene says:

    Hi Amy,

    I’m glad that this post was timely for you! I hope that my book is helpful and that you are feeling more comfortable about your decision soon.

    Warm regards,
    Irene

  2. Amy says:

    I love this post (and your blog!). In November I was “dumped” by a friend. I have been so hurt by her non responsiveness and just overall pettiness. Reading this post makes me realize that I may have been holding on to the friendship just because of the history (and also because we have mutual friends) but that I wasn’t getting what I needed from the friendship and perhaps *I* should have ended the friendship years ago!

    In any event, the breakup has been painful for me so I appreciated this post and look forward to reading your book!

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