Her Campus Interview on College Friendships/Frenemies

Frenemies: When Friendships Become Toxic, and How to Deal

When You Realize the Friend is the Frenemy

Tuesday, November 24, 2009
By Cassie Potler 

This past summer, I found out I got the position as a writer on the Her Campus team. I was super-pumped for the opportunity, and my friends and family were excited for me, too. That is, all except one person.

This person was my best friend since freshman year of college. We lived together for three years, studied in the same major, and found happiness in all of the same places. So why, if we were so close, couldn’t this person be happy for me?

Dr. Irene S. Levine, Professor of Psychology at NYU Langone School of Medicine, defines a frenemy as "someone with whom you have an ambivalent friendship." According to Levine, who has been called "The Friendship Doctor" by the Huffington Post and PsychologyToday.com, "the person seems to be a friend, but then has periodic or frequent lapses in behavior that are antagonistic or undermining." Yikes…

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