In the Media – Handling adult bullies who claim to be your friends (HuffPo UK)
The Huffington Post UK
May 14, 2015
Writing in The Huffington Post U.K., Kirsty Lemare offers advice for those who find themselves face-to-face with adult bullies, either at home or in the workplace.
Lemare says that a small survey of 65 women in their 20s and 30s found that 82% felt they had been targeted by another woman who bullied them in some fashion.
She quotes The Friendship Doctor on the subject of “relational aggression” between women:
“Bullying isn’t uniquely female, but there are always women who need to build themselves up by knocking others down. They may exclude, gossip, or do other things to demean one individual–particularly someone who seems vulnerable. Making someone feel alone, rejected and treating her as an outcast can be as vicious as a physical assault.”
You can read the article, Beating the Big Girl Bullies, in its entirety on The Huffington Post.
Category: OTHER ADVICE
Exactly why I dont make friends because of that abuse crap. Its insanity.
I have no idea how to handle this kind of thing … Other than stand up for myself even though ID rather not be around them at all. I have to find another place to go just to get away from the nonsense . its very disrespectful and down right ignorance that anyone can get away with such a thing and the worst part is they make everyone around you believe your the one doing it. That’s the dirty side of people . When they make others believe you are the one doing it when in reality they are. I wonder what her probation officer would do if he knew what she was doing.
So right there so true there is no reason for that kind of behavior.period
I have this lady that is a neighbor somewhat and she is a user then an adult abuser she’s a drug history and is on probation charges and thinks she can bully me last night … She threatened to punch me in the mouth. And I think she has a history of this kind of behavior she’s now using another lady since I told her to shutup and stay away from me . etc …. I have had it with her dirty looks and actions I have had to report her several times. If she hits me she is going to jail . period.
I have been a target of bullying as a child when we moved to a new school. I had very little if no hair at all and I was shy, quiet etc. But, it was mainly the boys that called me stupid or ugly or hit and punched me as I walked down the hall. In high school, I was not bullied to my face, so if people did not like me, that was okay, I had too much fun to notice. I had some friends bully me, but I stopped being there friends, it hurt at the time, but I had a boyfriend, they did not, they had problems that I did not have and it was not repeated, it was just a comment here and there and once I ended it, I was fine and went to real friends I could count on. So, I was lucky in that way.
The pattern repeated itself in the working world but not in every work place. At the Delta Hotel, I was bullied by a girl. I quit. I learned later that she did it to other people after me, until they finally got rid of the union and fired her.
I worked at the ferrycarrig in Ireland and I was bullied, but it was mainly by the men and it was more sexual harrassment than anything and if I complained, I was told I should take it as a compliment. They felt it was okay to just grab my breasts when they felt like it. It was managers that did it as well. But, I think it was a different culture and everything was behind. I don’t think that would happen today, if I were to go back.
In teacher’s college, there was a girl that tried to socially exclude me, that felt awful, but she had issues, so I did not mind. Point being, that bullies saw me as weak and easy to bully because I may not have said something right away. I am paranoid a bit of getting back into the work force, sometimes, I have been tougher than I needed to be on my son’s teachers and principal if I did not agree. I do not want the same hard life for my children and I am thankful for having a husband who never experienced bullying and he was never a bully either. He has a confidence that I hope my children get from him.
A friendship cannot move = grow, if your friend is a bully and if asked to change the behavior, refuses to do so. No Way!