Guest Post: The Importance of Friends When a Guy is Planning His Marriage Proposal
Most of the posts on The Friendship Blog either apply to women or are general enough to apply to both sexes. Blogger Grace Pamer agreed to share a post that is focused on male friendships, suggesting the special importance of these relationships at one particular juncture in life: when a guy is contemplating a marriage proposal. It struck me that there are many parallel issues for women as they plan weddings, too.
By Grace Pamer
These days, it is becoming ever more common for guys to plan interesting and unusual marriage proposals. Long gone are the days when you simply had to drop down to one knee in a crowded restaurant. For a lot of guys this added stress can be a lonely furrow. They want their girlfriends to receive a proposal that they will never forget (for the right reasons) but feel that they just don’t have the imagination to pull something amazing off by themselves.
So it’s heartening to hear more and more that guys are turning to their friends for help to ensure the moment is all the more special. For as we all know it is OK to seek the support of true friends in times of trouble and what better way to cement a friendship than knowing your “I’ll help” played a big hand in his “I do”?
A Friend in Need
Most of us have at least one or two good buddies that we go to for advice and support from time to time. A good friend is the perfect person to assist you with your proposal because really, nobody knows you better. In fact, it’s fair to say that in some cases, your friend may actually know you better than you know yourself!
You have probably chosen to keep certain parts of your life a closely guarded secret from your parents and other members of your family but your friends will know all about the skeletons in your closet. Regardless of all of the bad stuff that they know about you, they still love you and still want to be your friend.
So, if you have a rough idea about what type of marriage proposal you have in mind you need to mention this to your closest allies and they can then help you to fulfil your dream and make your girlfriend the happiest lady in town.
If you have an outrageous idea such as popping the question while skydiving then your friends will be brutally honest to your face about whether this is a good idea or not. They will know what type of woman your girlfriend is so will instantly realize what feels right or wrong. This could potentially prevent you from disappointing the love of your life by making a terrible error of judgement.
Buddies for Life
If you’re really lucky, you will have had a best buddy in your life for many years and this is a definite advantage when seeking advice and support because they will totally ‘get’ you and understand how you work. They will know exactly how your personality manifests itself and will recognize when you’re feeling blue, frustrated or angry.
By having this unique ability to understand you on every level, your buddy can assert a calming influence when needed or kick your butt if necessary. A true friend won’t be afraid of speaking the truth, even if it hurts your feelings, at least you won’t be under any false illusions.
From a practical point of view, a friend can be extremely helpful during a marriage proposal plan as they can do things that you are unable to do because of other commitments such as work. A true honest buddy will even tell you straight if the engagement ring is unsuitable and this is a very important point as your girlfriend will be wearing this jewelry for the rest of your lives together.
You Are Not Losing a Friend
Just because your best friend in the whole world has decided to tie the knot, that doesn’t mean that you will lose his friendship forever. Granted, his priorities will change and he may have less time to spend with you but if you show your true colors by offering your support, you will find that your friendship will actually grow far stronger as a result of the marriage. It may be tempting to sulk for a while but try and be the bigger person, bite your tongue and offer your help.
Ask him if he would like you to arrange the catering and the DJ for the party so that he has far less to worry about. Get in touch with your feminine side and offer to go ring shopping with him so that he chooses something beautiful yet subtle rather than opting for a tacky ‘gum-ball machine’ ring.
You could even be a little bit cheeky and offer your services for the upcoming wedding but the chances are that he will probably ask you to take a pivotal role during the nuptials such as best man or usher. The more involved that you become during the proposal stage, the stronger the bond will become with your friend as he will be delighted that you’re going to be there for him every step of the way.
Of course friendship works both ways so if you’re the potential groom, don’t be afraid to speak up and seek all the advice and support that you require and likewise if you’re the best buddy, make sure that you’re there to lend an ear and offer suggestions.
About the Author
Grace Pamer is the author of Romance Never Dies, a blog dedicated to helping couples keep the romance alive whatever their situation. Her romance advice has appeared in magazines and newspapers around the globe including Cosmopolitan, The Daily Mail, Canadian Living and Fox News to name but a few.
Interested in male friendships? The Friendship Olympics: Which sex gets the gold?
Category: KEEPING FRIENDS
