• Other Friendship Advice

Guest Post: Cookies and Friendship

Published: November 3, 2012 | Last Updated: April 2, 2016 By | 1 Reply Continue Reading
Cookies: A Love Story

The Cover of Cookie: A Love Story

By Brette Sember

The cookie is one of the friendliest foods. Doesn’t just thinking about cookies make you feel warm and fuzzy? Cookies evoke happy memories and are symbols of our connections to others. They are a very social food. We make them together, eat them together, and give them to others. They are a way to send social messages to each other: I like you; I want you to be happy; I care about you; I was thinking about you; you are part of my tribe. Cookies make us happiest when we make or eat them with the people we care about.

Cookies area a way to connect to friends throughout our lives. Girls bake cookies together (and eat cookie dough together!) as bonding rituals and adults often bake Christmas cookies together (Christmas cookie exchange clubs are another way to bond over cookies as adults: everyone brings a few dozen and the recipe, and everyone goes home with an assortment). As kids, we eat chocolate chip cookies and Oreos together on play dates and progress to eating them on the bed with music blasting or in a corner of the library with girlfriends. A stack of cookies is an excellent group remedy for being unlucky in love: at least we love each other and our cookies. What’s a late night college study session without a bag of cookies? We tell each other “just one” at holiday parties and events as we help ourselves to a few more than just one. Through it all, we’re bound together by our love for the cookie and the way the cookie showcases our softer, sweeter sides.

Cookies are often used to set the scene for times with friends. A book club, PTO meeting, or block party are places where you would be likely to find cookies. The cookies set out on a plate on the table sends a message to everyone who comes: we are sharing something here; we are here to have fun; we are part of a group. The cookies are a way to create expectations and set the tone for the gathering. Eating cookies relaxes us and makes us feel comforted, cared for, and accepted (probably because our first cookie memories are of a loving adult sharing cookies with us as a sign of love). Sharing cookies with friends also lets you bond just a little over your sweet tooth, the fact that you shouldn’t be eating this, but man, they are just SO good. We’re together in a little cookie club when we eat them, linked by this sweetest of treats.

Cookies are a frequent gift. We use them to say thank you, feel better, cheer up, you matter, and I want you to enjoy yourself! When we bake holiday cookies with the intent to share them, the very act of baking becomes a social connection to others. While you’re mixing and rolling and decorating, you’re thinking about and sending your energy to the people you will be sharing the cookies with. They become a conduit for our love and friendship.

Are you a cookie lover? What are some of your happiest memories of sharing cookies with friends?

My friend and colleague Brette Sember is the author of over 40 books. She amazes me! Her latest is Cookie: A Love Story: Fun Facts, Delicious Stories, Fascinating History, Tasty Recipes, and More. Learn more at www.CookieALoveStory.com. You might also enjoy visiting Brette’s web site or her blog.

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Category: Books & movies about friendship

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  1. MyKidsEatSquid says:

    Some of my happiest memories definitely have a cookie connection. My mom made the best chocolate chip cookies in the world and I still relish the memory of making them with her

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