Gossip promotes health and happiness: NOT
An article in New York Daily News today had a catchy headline that attracted my attention. It read: Women who gossip can live a happy and healthier life, study finds.
Every blogger is acutely aware that, regardless of content, the title of a post strongly influences whether or not a post will be read. To be honest, I wish I were better at composing titles for my own blog. Even the title of this one isn’t very good. However, the Daily News title really irked and insulted me. Why? First, it implies that all talk among women is gossip. Second, the study had nothing to do with gossip, as it is conventionally defined. Here’s the real story:
In the June issue of Hormones and Behavior, assistant professor of internal medicine Stephanie Brown of the University of Michigan Medical School reported on a study that found that women who bonded together emotionally had higher levels of the hormone progesterone than those with more tenuous ties.
While a number of prior studies have linked strong social supports to better health outcomes, the underlying basis for this connection hasn’t been clear. This new study suggests that a hormone associated with social bonding, specifically progesterone, may play a role in protecting women’s health and enhancing their longevity.
Category: KEEPING FRIENDS
Hi, I get worried because since childhood I’ve never had good experiences with friendships;nothing lasts,ever and it isn’t always my fault. In a five year span I lost 4 friends in the oddest ways.
One friend’s lesbian friend was jealous of me and scared her away from me with lies. (Neither of us are lesbians,so I was no threat to their friendship)
I went out with another friend one Saturday and we were fine, the next day I was slightly spacy but did nothing offensive to her, but she was southern girl frosty thereafter and claimed everything was fine,but did not give me her address when she moved.
Another person I thought was my best friend has not called me once of her own initiative since I moved out of state 6 years ago. She’s eager to see me when I come in town,but I realized that since the time we’ve known each other 20+ years,she has never once taken any initiative and I’m tired. Anyone who can go months without checking to see how a ‘friend’ is doing doesn’t really care.She also comes from a large family, and I’ve noticed that people with lots of siblings don’t make good friends,because their siblings are their best friends. Other people are amusements.
I do have one good friend but I noticed that when she went through the biggest crisis of her life,that she did not call me or tell me until months later,and that makes me wonder if we’re truly as close as claimed.
The only people who communicate with me regularly are two very needy women that I’m getting ready to cut loose because they’re pains in the ass. One needs therapy and won’t get it,and it is too draining dealing with her. The other wants to discuss her issues all the time,and is slightly manipulative. If I say that I can’t do something,she always ask me am I sure, and tries to convince me that the activity would be good for me. Last week she took me shopping and I ended up hearing all about her issues ad nauseum for hours. She then called two days later to go over it all again. I’m so through with both of them. I could never confide in them about anything,so their ‘friendship’ is of little use to me.Other friendships end because we move on to different phases in life and go seperate ways.
I went to a therapist a while and figured out that I’m not good at picking friends. That’s been helpful,but to be truthful at near 55 years old at this point I don’t much expect more than acquaintances or temporary friendships anymore. I don’t want to die of a broken heart,and yet I really don’t trust,or even like women very much. My brother still has friends from kindergarten,but I have no one from any phase of my life.No one, and I’ll be leaving where I am soon,and it doesn’t look like I’ll have anyone from here either.
I don’t like the implications of that headline either! However, wow…another study pointing to the health benefits of social ties. The evidence keeps piling up…girlfriends are good for you!
Hi Dawn:
Thanks for stopping by. Would love to have you do another guest post when you have the time.
Best,
Irene
Wow, after reading that headline I’m starting to feel like I’m in the twilight zone or something. I liked this articles take on friendship here: About Unconditional Friendship