• Handling Breakups

In the Media – Getting Back In When You’re Left Out (Bravo TV)

December 1, 2016 | By | 7 Replies Continue Reading


Screenshot (BravoTV)

Screenshot (BravoTV)

December 1, 2016

All of us are vulnerable to being left out of a group whether it takes place in the schoolyard or the boardroom. Why? Unfortunately, cliques and exclusionary behavior seem to be common among women—from childhood throughout adulthood.

There is even an episode of the Sopranos when the “girls” at her expensive retirement home gang up on Paulie’s mom. “Nursing homes are like high schools with wheel chairs,” her son remarks.

Sometimes, one person becomes an outcast because they’ve actually done something wrong. Or they just may not fit in.

Other times, one mean girl incites others to take her side and exclude someone from the group for some arbitrary reason.

What do you do if you are left out and want to get back in the good graces of a group?

For an article published on the BravoTV website, entitled “How Can You Reenter a Social Group When You’ve Been Alienated?,” journalist Marianne Garvey asked The Friendship Doctor for some advice. Garvey also raises the ultimate question of whether or not you really want to be part of a group that seems to be stuck in adolescence.

Click here to read the Bravo article in its entirety.

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Comments (7)

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  1. mary says:

    This article appears to be mostly geared to women; however my husband as well as batphink are examples of it happening to men. For me the bottom line is that the behavior where one isolates or alienates others on purpose says more about the isolatOR (or rejector) than the isolatED (or rejected). I know this is gross oversimplification but it seems to me that this high schoolish behavior is usually that the one causing the issue is insecure and feels threatened in some way by the other. I wish there was a super quick and easy cure because I know so many that have been rejected in this way, and the sting can last for a very long time.

  2. Irene (the other one) :) says:

    Batphink – you’re welcome. It looks to me as if there are a number of people envious of your musical talent(s). Just don’t let it stop you performing. It might be better not to be around these negative people on a regular basis. Just be courteous towards them, whatever they say or do, in the end you’ll be the winner.

  3. Irene (the other one) :) says:

    Batphink – I’m so glad you’ve been accepted elsewhere for your musical gifting. Jealousy, unfortunately, is a dreadful flaw harbouring inside most people, and those who are really beset by it can cause all sorts of problems for those whom they see as their rival – rival for attention. Usually these people people come to nothing later in life.

    So, keep going and do what is right – you could be the one leading others in the future. I’ve noticed on occasions when a young person is decidedly developing leadership skills, someone else will resent this, and behave like the juvenile they are. Jealous people just can’t stand someone else getting the limelight.

    • Batphink says:

      Irene, thanks you very much for such an kind and well stated comment.The last negative thing I’ll say about this subject is that even when I mentioned to family or friends about another person’s jealousy they turned it around on me as if I were the one causing problems or seeking attention lol.This is happening on Facebook too,I rarely post anything about myself,not being a very lucky person and having fragile health.I posted my T.V. show music acceptance on FB on Thursday had lots of old pals from years back and a few new friends all congratulate me but only 1 musician out of about 12 I know.I think you may be right that envy/jealousy could be within many,oddly enough I can only admire someone who is talented I don;t remember being jealous am I odd?
      Thanks again and once I feel well I will be back to what I do best creating. 🙂

  4. Batphink says:

    I hate to be ‘Mr Negative’ BUT this has happened to me many time in bands I have been in and though I can play a few instruments and really know my stuff I always made sure to humble myself at all times unless challenged as I hate competition as that ruins the sheer joy of laying music.However I have had many envious musicians tell me that ‘You’re going nowhere pal’ and I recently got my own music in a T.V.show! How about that! My point being believe in yourself no matter how hard it is,even when you feel like giving up(I have many times) and again always be humble and kind if possible,and get away from those that ostracize you and nay say.Some group will never let you back in ,try create your own,though i stay out of bands now because I don’t require them,though miss the camaraderie when I did find it.

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