• Handling Breakups

In the Media – Friendship Dealbreakers (SheSaid)

Published: October 30, 2016 | Last Updated: June 28, 2020 By | 2 Replies Continue Reading


SheSaid (screenshot)

SheSaid (screenshot)

Writing on the website, She”Said’, Nadine Dilong explores the concept of dealbreakers, behaviors so heinous that they might cause you to re-evaluate a friendship. In her article entitled, If your friends does these 3 things, it’s time to end the friendship, Dilong writes:

Friendship psychologist Irene S. Levine says “a toxic friendship is often one in which a woman’s own personal growth and individuation is sacrificed at the expense of the demands of the other person,” and I couldn’t agree more. 

Friendships shouldn’t be hard, they should be your safe haven, your comfort zone. When friendships constantly feel like work, your friend might have turned into a fiend.

Then she goes on to mention three scenarios that might be dealbreakers:

1) When a friends begrudges your success,

2) When your friend is only there when they need you, and

3) When your friend is full of excuses.

Everyone reaches the tipping point at which they end a friendship at a different time based on the nature of the friendship, the nature of the infraction and the overall strength of the friendship (including its history).

Are there automatic dealbreakers for you that would make you question the worth of a friendship?


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Comments (2)

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  1. Darlene says:

    Very true. Number one is particularly bad, people who care about you should be able to be happy for you as you should be happy for them.

    But definitely, friendships require some effort, but they should never feel like work, nor should you feel like you have to compromise your core values for that friend.

    I would say that another deal breaker for me is a friend who cannot listen to any kind of constructive criticism. People need to be able to be honest with each other, without it starting WWIII. But, I think that speaks to self confidence, which number one probably does, too.

  2. Lauren M says:

    So very true. Actually, Sad, but true.

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