Friendship Day – August 1, 2010
In 1935, the US Congress proclaimed the first Sunday in August each year as Friendship Day. Unlike Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, or Christmas, holidays that have become highly commercialized, there are no expectations of gifts, cards, flowers, or for this holiday. Most people probably haven’t heard of it, so if you choose you can act as if it is just another Sunday. On the other hand, you can decide to set aside time to celebrate the friendships that enrich your life.
With the hectic pace of our lives, it’s too easy to take friendships, even very good ones, for granted. Use Friendship Day as an excuse to rethink and realign your friendship priorities. It’s easy to get sucked into spending your time with a needy friend who constantly seeks out your companionship but consistently drains your energy, or with a toxic friend who is filled with ambivalence but conveniently lives next door. Consciously choose the friends you want to spend time with and nurture the relationships that matter most.
It is a privilege for me to be able to respond to your questions and dilemmas about friendship on this blog. Sometimes, relationships are confusing because —to me too! Like any advice columnist who hears a snippet of your problem, I may not always hit the mark but I hope that my posts give you some food for thought.
Happy Friendship Day,
Irene
The Friendship Doctor
Category: OTHER ADVICE
Dear Irene, I hope you can offer some insight, and thanks in advance.
I’ve been happily married for 25 years, but can’t let go of the friendship I had with a school mate. We were only close for a couple of years before she left for study overseas. Through the years we’ve met up a few times, and during those times she was indifferent and, on a number of occasions, downright rude to me. I know I’m supposed to ‘let go’ of a friendship that’s not worth it, that’s no more. But I can’t. Like someone else said in another letter, I simply ‘make do’ and can’t really enjoy the company of even my family, and the closest friend I’ve had for years. I’m very unhappy. I still wish we could be friends again and keep thinking of the past with sadness.
Moving and divorce sure can uproot friendships. Thanks for stopping by and leaving your note.
Best,
Irene
Hi I am confused over feeling I have for an ex friend. We fell out because she said I had become too needy and began pushing me away. She did so by sending me passive aggressive texts. She seemed to get upset with me over the slightest thing and often got hysterical. We are both married with children. We eventually had a blow out that got very heated and both ended up saying to each other we could not stop thinking about each other, ended up hugging and saying we should try and have a go at the friendship again. Two days later she ignored a text I sent so I called her and she had completely changed her mind said she did not care for me and did not want to speak to me again. We ahev gone back and forth with such ambivalent goings on. I know she says she misses me. I am confused as I cannot stop thinking about her and feel like this is love. However I have never felt like this about a woman before. It’s left me feeling very distressed as I love my family so much. I am about to start counselling. My feelings seem so strong for her it upsets me. We no longer speak as it all got too intense. I’m not sure how she feels now but she certainly acts weird around me. I don’t know how to get over these feelings perhaps the counselling will help.
Hi Irene,
I found you through the 31DBBB and thought I’d pop over. I’ve moved around a lot and am now divorced and both of those factors have impacted the number of people I can count in the close friend list. My 2 dearest and closest friends, one I’ve had now for 40 years (gee! yep, we’re that old), are both in other states but we stay in contact regularly.
I plan to send them both a note today, thanks for the ‘heads up’.
I didn’t know. I’ll have to let all my friends know I love them today.