• Keeping Friends

Friendship by the Book: Your So-Called Life

Published: September 14, 2010 | Last Updated: November 30, 2020 By | 12 Replies Continue Reading
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Released today, Your So-Called Life: A Guide to Boys, Body Issues and Other Big-Girl Drama You Thought You Would Have Figured Out By Now (Harper, 2010) is a self-described guide for thirty-somethings. This is a phase of life when friendships are in flux as women mate, marry and mother—so this time, the authors who previously teamed up to write Friend or Frenemy? (Harper, 2008), grapple with friendship issues in a more serious way. After all, they’ve aged and moved on too. But they’ve maintained their humor and whether you’re part of the demographic or not, you’ll thoroughly enjoy this effortless romp through pop culture and find yourself laughing out loud with them.

One example: “Here, we take a look at the changing face of adulthood from Before the Common Era to the present TMI Era, a time when our life choices are endless and we feel the need to write about it all over Facebook and Twitter> (@everyone-in-the-freaking-universe: should I choose the honey mustard, Grey Poupon, spicy mustard, chipotle mayor, or horseradish?).”

The book is a fast, fun and an easy read—filled with charticles, listicles, quizzes, tips, and factoids—but the book also carries some gravitas because the authors call upon 30 experts (from physicians to psychologists to career counselors and financial planners) to answer the burning questions faced by this age group. Full disclosure: I was the friendship expert Andrea and Jessica called on for the chapter entitled, “Ladies who Lunch Versus Girls’ Night Out: Your Ever-Evolving Social Circle.”.

This is the third collaboration of authors Andrea Lavinthal, a beauty editor, and Jessica Rozler, who works in book publishing and I think the authors have hit their stride with this one. Perhaps, I liked all the “grown-up” voices of experts they’ve added to their own. Or maybe I was won over by Andrea’s confession that she calls her mother at least once a day, not because she needs to but because she wants to.Yes, the authors have a handle on the questions and quandaries of young women on one side or other of the big 3-0. But they also offer something else to those old enough to be their parents: a glimpse into the mindset of their generation.

Friendship by the Book is an occasional series of posts on The FriendshipBlog about books that offer friendship lessons. 

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Comments (12)

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  1. Erin says:

    I listen to Cosmo Radio on Sirius/XM every day – both Wake Up and Cocks With P. I heard you talking the other day with Patrick and Leah and I thought, this book is just what I need. People kept telling me that turning 30 was no big deal. In fact, their thirties were the best years of their lives. With the stress of a new house, 2 jobs, illness and a best friend who is distancing herself because she’s the only unwed one in our group, I have been hoping I could pick up something that could help me laugh about this time in my life while also offering some insight. And since this book is new and actually written by people in my generation who I feel have similar experiences as me, I think it will be a very worthwhile read. No one tells you when you are younger that life gets harder, the decisions get harder to make, and that people will change so much. I’ve found that my life has little resemblance to what it was 5 years ago befor I turned 30. I have a lot of trouble understanding why people who are “grown up” are so unreliable and unpredictable. I thought at 30 (or older) we would all be stable? Anyway, I’d love a copy of the new book. I’ve been heeding all of Andrea’s advice (doled out on Cosmo Radio) for a while now, so I’d love to read her work too!

  2. Arie Rich says:

    i left the message below on the Psychology Today post, I didn’t know the contest was also posted on here. For a minute I thought I was the only one entering and possibly winning. :-/

    Anyways, here’s why I would love to read this book:
    I would love to read Your So-Called Life book because I am a few months away from turning 30 myself, and I find it to be a scary number. I know 30 is the new 20, but I really don’t know yet. This book seems to be filled with interesting points that might help me clarify what being 30 will be like. 🙂

  3. Irene says:

    If you want to be eligible for the giveaway you need to post it here to email it to me on the contact form!

  4. Leischen says:

    I am standing here about to knock on 30’s door. Would love some advice on getting through this.

  5. Leah says:

    This book couldn’t come at a better time. I’m a mom of two, wife to a returned to school PhD student and lonely beyond lonely. I can’t seem to figure our how to make friends when being a mom is involved and figuring out how to balance everything. HELP!

  6. Anonymous says:

    I am 33 years young and I have always been fascinated by people and relationships. I especially would love to win this book because I find human nature very interesting. I am currently involved in a few friendships that are questionable. It would be great to have something to reference when in doubt. 🙂

  7. searching says:

    I’d love to win this book because I’m thirty-five and I feel like I’ve always had a problem making close friends. I have tons of acquaintances, but only a handful of close friends over the course of my life.

    In eighth grade, I was “dropped” by my group of friends and I think it scarred me for life, making it that much harder to allow myself to get close to people, despite desperately wanting more friends.

    Add to that working full time an hour away from home and my husband working nights (no paying for daycare-yay! no time for after-work socializing–boo!), it feels so hard to make time for nurturing friendships.

    My daughter is 4 and I am terrified that I don’t posses the skills to teach her how to make friends. Thanks for putting the word out there about this book!

  8. Andrea says:

    I heard about this book on XM radio yesterday Sept 14th, and had to google to hear more about it. I really enjoyed your blog post on this book. I am in my late 20s and have lots of friends who are married and starting to think about having kids. Its so frustrating that woman are only considered “grown up” if they are married, own a house, etc. I’d really like to read this book and hear more about this stage of life. One question I always have is “why once you get married you get all these gifts to start a life, but until you are married you have to deal with renting apartments, using used dishes/ other items from college??”

  9. Molly says:

    I’m Molly and I’m 28, and most of my friends have either transitioned or are just beginning to enter our 30s. I am one of the only people in my group of friends that is unmarried. I am single, have not dated in a very long time (about 4 years), own my own home and have a rapidly progressing career. I am currently in the middle of trying to understand where my married friends are coming from and how to better related to each other. They’re prioritizing their marriages and starting families while I am very much enjoying not getting wrapped up in similar entanglements, and enjoying the freedom that comes with being single and finding personal and professional success in a less than traditional approach to life. I know the next 5 years or so are going to be very difficult and straining on my relationships as our lives are going to seem to grow farther and farther apart. I think this book would help provide some insights into what we’re all going through and how to maybe navigate some of those challenges.

  10. Irene says:

    If you want to be eligible for the giveaway you need to post it here to email it to me on the contact form!


  11. Anonymous says:

    I am always fascinated in the evolution of friendships and how they change over time. This book will be an additional resource for me and the work I do with adults in helping them understand about themselves.

  12. Sarah says:

    Irene, I am 31 and am struggling with my friendships in flux. I would love to read this book as a resource. Sounds like it could give me some insight into this stage in my life that I never expected (my mother never told me there would be days like this) and some insight into why some of my other 30-something ‘friends’ act the way they do. Thanks.

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