• Keeping Friends

Friendship by the Book: Stuff Every Mom Should Know

Published: April 5, 2012 | Last Updated: September 12, 2021 By | 1 Reply Continue Reading

Have trouble meeting other moms?

Many books on mothering mistakenly focus exclusively on the children. I recently tripped over a little book (143 pages crammed inside a cover with the same dimensions as a 4×6 index card) that offers a lot of wisdom, including a chapter on the importance of friendship in the lives of mothers.

Stuff Every Mom Should Know (Quirk Books, 2012) by Heather Gibbs Flett and Whitney Moss is a sweet, eminently readable, gift book for the new mom with practical hints ranging from “how to sing a baby to sleep” to “how to make a grilled cheese sandwich.” It also has a chapter on “How to Meet Other Moms,” something often asked about on my blog.

The authors, Heather and Whitney are the voices of the popular mommy blog, RookieMoms.com. With permission of the authors and the publisher, that brief chapter but very relevant chapter is reprinted below on the topic of meeting other moms:

How to meet other moms

Finding other moms to connect with is critical to one’s mental health. If your existing pool of friends isn’t brimming with babies right now, try to meet some new women with whom you can compare notes on feeding, sleeping, not sleeping, and um, not sleeping.

Places to meet other moms include a first-time mother’s support group, breastfeeding support group, prenatal and postnatal yoga classes, baby gym and music classes, and library and bookstore storytimes for babies. Show up at the same place week after week and you’ll certainly see some familiar faces.

Need some pick-up lines to meet other moms?

“Do you come here often?” is actually relevant and not at all a creepy way to strike up a conversation with another mom when you’re trying to get to know a new setting. If you are truly shy, cling to some of these basic conversation starters:

  • “She’s so cute! How old is she?”
  • “I love his shoes. Do you remember where you got them?”
  • “I have the same [piece of gear] at home, but haven’t quite figured out how to use it. Can you show me?”

Go online

The Internet is a new mom’s best friend. From discussion boards to mommy blogs to neighborhood e-mail lists, you just might find the support you need, right when you need it. Three phrases to Google:

  • “birth club” and the month and year of your child’s birthday
  • “play group” and the name of your neighborhood or town
  • “moms who” and the term you are passionate about such as “cloth diaper” or “run marathons.” 

Show your true colors

While a sunny disposition is indeed an excellent quality through which to attract new friends, just be sure to keep it real when you do have the chance to talk to other moms. Be brave enough to say things like “I’m having trouble with X” or “I hope I’m not the only mom here who thinks  . . .” and you’ll invite a more authentic connection with a like-minded mom.


“Friendship by the Book” is an occasional series of posts on The Friendship Blog about books that offer
friendship lessons.

Some prior posts on The Friendship Blog about making friends:

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Category: KEEPING FRIENDS

Comments (1)

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  1. Anonymous says:

    Interesting – I don’t think I’ve seen that info in other parenting books. I’m glad they included it!

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