The Friendship Blog – Named a Must-Visit Blog
Thanks to G34Media for selecting the The Friendship Blog for its list of
"100 Blogs To Visit Before You Die."
From the List:
The Friendship Blog – Don’t you just love the idea and concept behind this one? An entire site dedicated to friendships. Oh, yes we like. This super awesome blog comes courtesy of Dr. Irene Levine (who happens to be a fancy pants clinical psychologist) and she delivers the goods and then some. Their are entries for every conceivable friend related issue such as friend rivalries, friend trust issues, friends who betray you, friendships that turn into relationships and so much more. You HAVE to visit this blog for good tips, fun stories, and advice on all things friend related.
Category: Uncategorized
I went through 9 months of every day abusive phone calls to me land line from a mobile, I rang the number from my mobile so giving away my 2 numbers, the texts were abusive, sexual hurtful I changer my numbers and only a day after giving my number to a selected few , the calls started again, I found out who it was making my life a misery.but they too changed their numbers and denied their acts I have had calls from a friend who said the calls were for fun but at 4am it is not fun when you are a widow its frightning, being a widow is the hardest thing for me
I too am going thru this situation. I don’t know how to handle things from here. We left things off about a month ago as needing a break from each other and agreeing to disagree about our lives. I don’t want to end the friendship but at the same time cannot seem to tolerate her lifestyle now. We are in our 40’s and both divorced. I feel like a grown up dealing with grown up things and she’s in the bar every weekend picking up 22 yr olds. Any advice? Do I end it? I don’t know what to do! Thanks!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write and well said. I had a little bit of hate mail from this post, can’t understand why. This person should be deleted from this website
At least you know what happened. My friend of thirty years just dropped away. She was too involved with a granchild and a sister came into the picture that she hardly spoke to for 30 years. I could see the writing on the wall when she complained about her 70+ parents. Something about the way her and her sister had been treated years ago. I knew then, that all that, was coming from the sister. Not long after that, about 2 months, she no longer had time for my phone calls.
How Sad…I understand where you are coming from, I’ve been there myself. I had a friendship of almost 30 years end because of our differences and marriages and children. She became sarcastic and acted like she didn’t want me around anymore….I also had this same situation with my sister who I am very close to. We are all around menopausal age, I am wondering if that has something to do with it. We don’t have the patiences anymore and we begin to think more about ourselves and sometimes just don’t have the energy to deal with anything or anyone else’s crap. I have other friends who say I’m fine but the two I have mentioned started drinking and having family issues and we just couldn’t relate anymore….I am just taking a step back and taking care of me. If they come back around good if not I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I do think jealousy plays a part of it, but I also think sometimes we spend to much time in each others lives. I also think a break from people now and then is a good thing!!:)
Judgment is everywhere, from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed at night, but I have been swimming through it quite fast these days. Because, what is better than having a bunch of “friends”? One or two real, true, best friend, the unconditional kind. Or so I thought. Keep in mind, I’m 51 years old and Laura is 47.
Have you ever had a friend that seems to always be willing to be there for you when you have a hard time? Seems like they have so much advice to give when things aren’t going right in your life? But on the contrary, when things start to look up for you, their whole expression seems to change?
Google “break up” and you’ll see a slew of websites and articles devoted to getting over an ex-lover. What you won’t easily find, however, is information on the best friend break-up. I always thought that friendship is supposed to be forever. When you have friends, it is your duty to be there for them, regardless of what becomes of you. I consider that to be “Friendship 101.” Imagine my shock to learn how terribly unhealthy is it to believe that your friends should mean the world to you and vice versa. Call me naïve or altruistic, but that is how I felt about true friendship.
On November 17, 2009, my so-called “dear old friend” became my ex-friend Laura (the same friend that took that ride with me to see the mistress). I’m talking about a 45-year friendship (we’ve been friends since 1966). She has literally been with me literally from the beginning. Growing up together, we used to make mud pies, and on rainy days, play endless hours of Monopoly and Barbie Dolls. We shared the same sick attraction to Dark Shadows. We shared our lives, thoughts, frustrations; we laughed and cried together and we held each other’s deepest secrets. She was the best listener. She was so supportive through all my ups and downs. When I felt ugly, she would tell me I’m beautiful. When I felt stupid, she would tell me I was smart. When I was lonely, she would drop what she was doing to keep me company. She gave me “The Girlfriends Keepsake Book, The Story of our Friendship” for my birthday sometime in the 1990’s, which thanked me for being everything a friend should be. This book meant the world to me and I felt it confirmed our special bond. The book’s first chapter stated that authentic female friendship is when we allow another woman to see our core, go to our core and risk sharing our souls. Laura filled out the blanks in this book, i.e., how we met, what characteristics she found appealing about me, how our friendship made Laura a better person and so on. Laura completed a section of the book that showed how different we are. Laura likes rock, I like Disco, Laura loves books and I love music; Laura believes in herself and I believe in everyone else. The last page of the book was written based on the book, “The Giving Tree”. She called me the “Giving Tree” and saw herself as the selfish, greedy boy. As we grew older, Laura grew more selfish and disconnected.
On November 17, 2009, Laura ended our friendship in an email, and it deeply hurt me. Instead of standing by me through the darkest moments of my life as I would have for her, she decided I was too paranoid, angry and dramatic to remain my friend. That she was finally happy in her own life, and didn’t want any part of my life’s circumstances interfering with hers. I’ll never forget the sadness I felt when reading her “break-up” email. How could she be doing this to me?
To summarize, she said, “You need to see someone about your anger and your paranoia. You are mad at your husband, your mother, your brother and your sister, your boss, me…You don’t trust anyone. I have always loved you — your kindness, your laugh, your unique perspective — but you are not you anymore. My husband and I are in a happy place and I need some time to enjoy my life that I have worked so hard to build, without any drama. I can’t allow your anger/anxieties/dramas to interfere with my marriage. Sometimes people just need a break. Right now, I need a break’. How incredibly selfish that statement was. But what hurts the most is that I thought she was my friend until she found it inconvenient to be so.
Doesn’t genuine friendship involve a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life? Doesn’t true friendship involve action? Doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism? I guess my family; husband and true friends were right about Laura. I can’t believe I was so blind!
She thought it was ridiculous that I didn’t end my marriage. She felt that I wouldn’t have a problem getting a “replacement husband”.
I know this may seem like a ridiculous topic. But if there is one thing I can’t stand is someone who claims to be my friend, but shows signs of someone who doesn’t want to see me happy.
A great example is Laura, who has given me more than enough reason to make me believe that she is the jealous type. My family, my husband and true friends have told me that Laura was toxic and jealous and was not a true friend. And I denied it to myself for years. If you have any friends that seem to be a little hesitant about your happiness, then maybe that person is not a friend at all. Maybe its time to reconsider…I know I did. I want a friend who can catch me when I fall and I think my needs are modestand not unreasonable.
Have you ever felt that your friend might be jealous of you, but quickly dismissed the thought because you told yourself, “She’s my friend, she loves me…she would NEVER be jealous of me…how could I think such a thing!” Well, newsflash, some of the very people who you think love you do NOT want to see you happy. Or better yet, you can be happy, as long as you’re not happier than THEY are. I always felt that Laura’s husband was attracted to me. I believe I responded in a way that made him feel comfortable enough to continue doing this. He drank heavily and there were times when he would inappropriately flirt with me. He joked once (in front of Laura) and told me that he fantasized about me. I had an “oh crap” moment and I could see Laura’s smile subside and turn into anger. She said, “I’m going to kick both your butts”. When you’re a kid, making friends is easy. There is a new friend to be found wherever you turn at school, next door or on the playground. But once you graduate high school or college, making friends doesn’t come easily and women need to be more proactive. To make new friends, you need to actively engage with other women. If you’re shy, the idea of finding and making new friendships can be daunting.