• Resolving Problems

In the Media – Friend or frenemy? (Bustle)

Published: February 24, 2017 | Last Updated: February 24, 2017 By | 3 Replies Continue Reading
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Screenshot Bustle

Screenshot Bustle

Is your so-called “friend” a friend or frenemy? Writing for the lifestyle website Bustle, Carina Wolff writes:

Friendships can be complicated, and they come with their fair share of ups and downs. Sometimes though, it can be hard to tell if your peers have your best interests in mind, which is why it’s important to look out for any signs that your friend is actually more of a “frenemy.” Your relationships should make you feel good and help enhance your life, and if you’re starting to feel otherwise, it might be time to reevaluate your friendships.

In her article entitled, 11 Signs Your Friends Is Actually Your Frenemy and Your Should Tread Carefully, she identifies eleven warning signs that should make you cautious of your friendship.

Wolff asked The Friendship Doctor to weigh in on the definition of a “frenemy”:

“The term frenemy, seamlessly blending the words fr(iend) and enemy, refers to someone who pretends to be a friend but actually is an enemy — a proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing in the world of friendships,” says Irene S. Levine, psychologist, friendship expert and producer of the online advice column www.TheFriendshipBlog.com, over email. “If you think about it, most of us have had a frenemy at one time of another, either at school, at work, or lurking in our neighborhood.

What’s the solution if you can’t decide whether someone is a friend or frenemy? You may need to reassess your relationship figure out what to do next. It might entail speaking to the individual to work out the problem (depending on what it is), diluting the friendship so you treat the frenemy as an acquaintance rather than a friend, or simply deciding to end the relationship.

You can read the article in its entirety on Bustle, which lists possible signs that someone isn’t totally your friend.

  • You might also be interested in reading prior posts on The Friendship Blog that discuss frenemies.

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Comments (3)

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  1. Denise says:

    If I knew someone with at least a few of these 11, they wouldn’t be a friend or frenemy. Everyone has faults, but friends do not act like this.

    Talking behind your back; pointing out all the negatives; conversations always about them; take advantage of you; lie a lot. These are the worst of the list, for me. This is not friendship.

  2. Susan says:

    I have NO problem talking to people and finding friends….well that is not as easy. A REAL FRIEND, will be there for you when you are depressed,listen to your problems as you hers. I live very rural. I seem to sabotage myself with people. I am 66 years old. Have been quite ill, and because of that do not want to bother anyone. I just went into all the problems. Deleted it all….. I will get no one to talk to if i start out with it. I read some of the letters. I SO get the feeling of being alone. I actually feel i am just sitting here waiting to die. I do talk and enjoy my multi-poo. And we go for two walks a day. But since i have been out of work, and live in a huge 4 bedroom house and unable to clean. I always have a chore. (or two) …..If i go out i spend money. Money we don’t have. ( after i fell i have not been able to work. I was a Nurse and it was a knee with 8 operations !!) There is more to it all then the knee operations…. I LOVED my job……anyway…….( Have had two private duty jobs but i cannot lift now ) And as a rule lifting is almost a must….. So i need to stay home. And thats when i get down and out. Well it is Saturday and husband home, so need to get a move on. I would love to find someone just to chat to on line.. I have been looking, but every site i go to ends up with the relationship part involved. Even if your married. I don’t understand the people these days.

    • Mirela Jurecic says:

      Hello Susan,

      Have you been doing better since February?

      There are good people out there! Maybe could you go back to your nursing industry and do just admin work or something?
      Sounds like you loved your work environment.

      Hope all is well.
      Take care!

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