• Keeping Friends

Five signs a friendship is falling apart

Published: July 28, 2011 | Last Updated: January 7, 2016 By | 4 Replies Continue Reading

Unlike the engaging plots of novels and TV dramas and sitcoms, most friendships don’t end because of big blowups or betrayals. Rather two friends slowly drift apart, without fireworks or fanfare, because their lives have gone in different directions.

While it’s comforting to think that our friendships will last forever (and, perhaps that’s what allows for real intimacy to develop between friends) marriage; moves; divorce; career changes; financial, health and family problems; retirement, and other major life transitions can destabilize even long-time friendships.

Sometimes one person changes, other times it’s both. Either scenario can precipitate the ratcheting down or phasing out of a once close friendship. And, of course, it always feels more painful if you’re the one that is unceremoniously dumped or blind-sided.

Visit my post on the Huffington Post on the 5 warning signs that suggest a friendship may be headed south so you can better prepare ahead and anticipate the loss.

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  2. Lillian says:

    i read it and i didnt see the five signs i like your website but maybe put in bullet points got also im 13 years old so what do i know but still do it for a stupid 13 year old.

    [Last name removed by moderator. To protect yourself against spammers, please do not use last names on this blog.]

  3. Anonymous says:

    My ex-bff and I CLEARLY fit into 3 of these categorys…I guess one is enough, but 3..writing on the wall!!!

  4. EagleWings says:

    Re this comment from Dr. Levine’s (Irene’s) article:

    “..and looks glazed over when you talk”

    That made me laugh when I saw that. I have an aunt who does that. I’ll call her “Aunt Bertha.”

    I thought after my mother died that this aunt (among others) who live in the area I’m living in now would be my friends and help me through the grieving, but that has not happened.
    I basically only see these aunts at holiday times (where they make me look at endless photos of their grandchildren), but they ignore me the rest of the year.

    “Aunt Bertha” either gets the “glazed in the eyes” look when I talk to her, as though I’m boring her to death (and it doesn’t take long, maybe one sentence!) or she looks stony-faced. She rarely smiles.

    I’ve been very shy my whole life, but if I feel comfortable around you, I eventually will open up a bit and grin and kid, joke, and smile.

    Aunt Bertha, though, keeps the stony look or the “glazed eyes” look no matter what. She’s been that way since I was a teen and the family used to visit her and my uncle (her husband).

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