• Keeping Friends

Bonding when things go bad

Published: February 3, 2009 | Last Updated: April 2, 2016 By | Reply Continue Reading

Updated February 25, 2009

To read an update on the DABA girls who seem to have "exaggerated" their story to the New York Times, see this post in Newsweek.


Whether the “excuse” is a book group, cooking club, or knitting circle—women characteristically gravitate towards one another not only to share interests but also to share joys, sorrows and hopes. The economic downslide has spawned a new and curious women’s get-together, a group called Dating a Banker Anonymous (DABA). The group meets once or twice a week, over brunch or cocktails, so its members can commiserate about boyfriends whose moods are fluctuating as erratically as the tumultuous market conditions.

According to the New York Times, DABA was started by two best friends, Laney Crowell and Megan Petrus, young professionals who were each involved in a relationship with a man working in the financial sector when things began spiraling downward—both in terms of the economy and in their relationships. While DABA’s blog and the Times report are infused with tongue-in-cheek humor, the topic merits serious attention.

When men lose their jobs and/or their money, they’re prone to depression, anxiety and loss of self-esteem, which can wreak havoc on their relationships. In fact, women are often the first to recognize the signs that a significant other is becoming unglued. A regular circle of friends, a loosely organized sisterhood like DABA, or an informal chat over a cup of coffee can offer girlfriends emotional support to enable them to better cope with today’s harsh economic and relationship realities.

Has the economy taken a toll on your relationship?

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