A BFF that has stood the test of time

Published: January 17, 2010 | Last Updated: January 18, 2010 By | 6 Replies Continue Reading

I don’t recall how I tripped over Jessica Kettle Kechian’s blog, Cougar Tales, but I’m glad I did. I was smitten by one of her posts on friendship. Jessica was gracious to allow me to reprint it here on The Friendship Blog as a guest post.

P.S. I think it would be nice if every woman had at least one "BIF" like Beth.


Written by Jessica Kettle Kechian


I always believed that when you found a friend you stayed friends forever. Fast forward life 31 years and I’ve learned how much that is not the case. I have had a ton of friends in my day and a few that made it to the "best" status. Out of all these friends, many have drifted away through our different circumstances of life. Some have become acquaintances. Very few are still dear friends. Only one remained as my best friend forever for almost the entirety that I have known her. She is my BFF. I actually call her just BFF – pronounced "bif".


BFF has been my best friend since we were about 6 or 7. She moved in next door after my other friend and his family moved out. I was devastated and couldn’t imagine someone better suited for me would move in there. I walked past the house a few times as they moved in…on purpose…like a stalker. Finally, her aunt asked me to come over and meet my now BFF and her cousin. Later, I asked her to come over but her grumpy Greek dad said, "Bif, we don’t even know these people."


It was only a matter of time before we were inseparable. BFF and I did everything together. We worshipped Bon Jovi. We put on shows in our back yards every summer and even had business cards. We were called the Broadway Babes (well, only by the family members we gave our business cards to). BFF and I took dance classes for years, we were in cheerleading together and we even worked together everything weekend for 10 years at her parents’ luncheonette. Her parents became my second set of parents. And, mine hers.


We stayed friends through every possible milestone – good things and bad as you can imagine. We moved out of our childhood homes, went off to different colleges, had fun and dramatic times post-college and eventually settled into new towns over an hour from each other.


Friends shift into different people at different stages of their life or seasons. When this happens, they sometimes become different friends to us. Maybe they are no longer "best" friends" but become more like acquaintances. Maybe a friend is your "going out gal" or your "stayin in sista". Maybe she is a gym buddy, guy venting, or advice-giving friend. BFF and I certainly shifted through different seasons at different times.


Over the years, we have grown into different people and have different interests. To name a few: I love going out for dinner and/or drinks. She only wants to go out on birthdays and special occasions. I like to taste new wines. BFF likes to ride on her boyfriend’s motorcycle. I am a planner and she, not so much. We probably would never see each other if it wasn’t for me. She cancels plans the day of. She doesn’t always call me back. She hates driving to my town. And, yet somehow, I always put her on a pedestal. I know we will be best friends forever and here’s a few reasons why:


  • We know more about each other than anyone else in the world does.
  • We still love Bon Jovi.
  • We can talk about really deep topics or laugh our booties off.
  • She swears I am thin when I’m chubby.
  • She thinks I’m normal when I feel crazy.
  • She picks out the best friendship cards that I know were written just for us.
  • She sticks up for me when I can’t.
  • She has answers when I don’t.
  • She loves me regardless of who I am.
  • She is my seasonless Best Friend Forever.


A note from Jessica: Cougar Tales became my pet project last summer so I could get some thoughts out of my head and cure my boredom with my corporate gig. I had no clue beforehand about blogging but I quickly became absorbed. After starting, I realized that there aren’t any rules. You can write about things that matter most or things that don’t matter at all. As strange as this sounds, I have actually made some online friends. My husband thinks it’s odd that I "talk" to people I have never met but I think it’s kind of cool. It bends the rules of traditional friendships that are established on the basis of what school you went to, where you work, and whether you have children or not. There are undiscovered ways to meet new friends that you never expect. Lots of people visit my blog thinking I’m a "cougar" chronicling my life. Not the case. Simply put, I write about life…as it seems to me. One of the common themes you’ll find on my blog is friendship. And, one of my favorite people to write about is my best friend, Beth.


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Comments (6)

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  1. Eileen Jordan says:

    Friend of 50 years still lies & stands people up. After the last 2 episodes, she knew I was not going to friends like before. After 3 months of cordial text messages she ask me are we going to be friends like before. I responded by saying friends don’t stand people up and lie. Also stated she needs counciling. I said I was working too hard to keep the relationship going. She responded by saying I was selfish & friends should forgive. This behavior has being going on all her life. What should I do?

  2. Anonymous says:

    I enjoyed your blog, and am always looking for great insights into the intricacies of friendships. I’d love to link your site to ours! http://pearlsofamicus.blogspot.com

  3. Jewel says:

    What a neat story of friendship!! Sadly, after I went away from my hometown two decades ago, I fell out of touch with friends. But thanks to Facebook, I am reconnecting again.

  4. monica says:

    thats great!I love the term bif!

  5. Beth says:

    If there is one thing I know for sure in life(and I’m NEVER sure of anything) its that Cougs and I will be Best Friends Forever. She is my heart and soul!!

  6. Eva Gallant says:

    I read Cougs BFF post when it was first on her blog. She’s right…some friends just stay with you forever!


    The above is a post I did about a friend that I have had for nearly 60 years!

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