Baltimore Jewish Times: We’re friends, our children aren’t
In this week’s Baltimore Jewish Times, journalist Amy Landsman wrote an article called, We’re friends, our children aren’t. She describes some of the challenges of balancing mom friends and kids friends.
It begins: You’re pregnant! And so is your BFF! Instantly, you dream about play
dates, outings around town, even vacations that your growing families
can share. And for a few years, that just might happen. But one day, the kids
get that independence thing going, and little Johnny or Susie announce
they just don’t like little Hannah or Joshua. What do you do?…
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to add my two cents, Amy! You can click the link above to read the article. What do you think?
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Yes, Starrlife, I have mixed feelings about the dilemma of kids’ friendships, too. There are so many different factors that come into play (sorry for the bad pun).
To start, it depends on the adults’ relationship, the kids’ relationship and the age of the kids. I do believe that kids and their parents should show respect for each other’s friends as well as for one another’s likes, dislikes, and preferences. And realistically, in the end, most moms learn that we can’t force friends on our children. But parents can play an important rule as “friendship role models” and in guiding their children towards making better choices.
When a child has a disability or even is extremely shy, his/her parent will undoubtedly play a more prominent role in helping forge connections with other children. Hopefully, the other adult on the other end will see the value of inclusion and the importance of teaching their own children to accept differences.
Thanks for reading and posting.
Best,
Irene
I have mixed feelings about that article. I think kids should be able to be polite and interact with anyone who’s company they happen to be in and this modern thingie about kids picking their friends and playdates is annoying to me. Yes, everyone has special friends for birthday parties and events but families should be able to socialize and kids learn to have relationships beyond that paradigm. My life is a bit complicated in that my daughter has a disability so my friends might not as naturally connect. When we get together I do not expect that they play together perfectly but they are all expected to share toys, be polite and kind and not exclude. I do agree thought that we can’t force our kids to like people they don’t or force more closeness than they have. I feel my friends kids are a bit like cousins, seen every so often but not necessarily close! Thanks for the blog- just starting to tune in- very thought provoking!