Making friends at school: Eighth grade girls are mean!
An eighth grade teen is upset that she has no one to sit with at lunch.
QUESTION
Hi,
I am 13 years old and in eighth grade. I just moved to a new school so I am the new girl. After moving, I find making friends complicated. Every grade before this, I made friends easily and I was happy. However, I found out that my new school has group lunch tables fitting 8 people.
The ones with people are always filled up and it leaves only one or two empty tables. 60% of the kids at my school students speak Spanish so speaking with them is hard.
The first day of school, I sat alone and then a few Spanish kids sat with me but only because there wasn’t anywhere else to sit. The second day of school, there wasn’t any room to sit with them again.
I dread lunch because no one wants to talk to me. Not making friends is so new to me and whenever I think about I tear up. Eighth grade girls are mean! Help please!
Signed, Bridget
ANSWER
Dear Bridget,
I feel for you. Starting a new school is hard under the best of circumstances and it sounds like you have some additional challenges because of the lunchroom setup and your not being bilingual. Do you have kids to talk to in your classes?
I wish I had an answer that could give you immediate friends, but getting to know people and developing relationships takes often some time. Participating in sports or after school activities can be a good avenue for meeting new people.
You can’t be the only student to have this lunchroom difficulty. Making an appointment to talk to your guidance counselor to see what other kids in your situation do about lunch could be helpful. She might be able to introduce you to other new kids who don’t already have an established group of friends.
Bringing a book or magazine to the table at lunch might help distract you from feeling uncomfortable, as long as you still smile and greet others at your table so they know you’re friendly and open. If you share classes with others at your table you can make comments about homework, the teacher or an upcoming test.
Good luck.=
Signed, *Amy Feld
*Amy Feld, PhD, MSW has trained and worked as a child psychologist.
Disclaimer: Nothing in this or any other post is intended to substitute for medical, psychiatric or clinical diagnosis/treatment. Rather, all posts are written as the type of advice that one friend might give to another.
Category: Teen friendships
