10 Reasons Why Your Friend Didn’t Send You A Holiday Card
On the Friendship Forums, a reader named Arches started a provocative discussion thread
on holiday cards.
It inspired my most recent post on the NBC Universal Website, Life Goes
Strong — which focuses on the
possibilities of what may have really happened if you did not get
the holiday card you were expecting from a friend.
The bottom line: Don’t necessarily
take it personally.
Category: KEEPING FRIENDS
i like your blog..its nice…
You cannot expect everyone to view cards the same way you do. I, for one, have found them to be such a chore that I no longer send them. When I did, I had so many other things to do that I just signed my name to let friends know I was thinking of them. Yet, you expect them to reciprocate in the manner in which YOU view the greetings – as a way to catch up after a year and to rekindle old relationships.
First, if you want to rekindle a relationship, a holiday card is not the way to do it. You should do it separately and privately, not as an add-on to your greeting. You also assumed that the recipient MUST have received your card PRIOR to sending hers, therefore, purposely refused to answer you. Maybe she was rushed; maybe she hadn’t received your card yet; maybe she forgot to mention your note; maybe she needs time to think about it. She DID, at least, send you a card. I’d hate to think of what you would say if she didn’t even do that (as is her prerogative if you had a falling out.) It sounds like you put a lot of pressure on your friends and family to give you the holiday YOU expect, yet you have very little respect for how they view the holiday nor do you worry about what THEY want.
Stop expecting people to behave the way you have declared as the only possible way. It is their holiday too and if they do not have the time or energy to recap their life’s events during this very busy season, you shouldn’t judge them by your very strict standards. That may also be why your friend did not respond. You seem to expect too much and wait around to be disappointed, if only to prove you were right or somehow better than those that who’s replies were not satisfactory.
Every year, I try to write something personal in my holiday greeting cards…about how the recipient is special to me. I always hope for the same but have learned not to expect it as often it doesn’t happen. In particular, I used this year’s greeting card to an ex-friend as an opportunity to express my desire to rekindle our friendship. Alas, she sent me a generic card with no mention of my note and no mention of rekindling our friendship. It saddens me but the reality is setting in. My ex-friend of less than a year is showing me that she’s not interested in rekindling our close friendship. This is only one of many ways she’s showing me. It’s getting easier with time but I keep on hoping that one day she’ll change her mind. At least these days, my feelings aren’t as strong. Slowly, and I hope surely, they will dissipate and I will no longer hurt.