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Yesterday's guest post by Debba Hauppert of Girlfriendology.com was the first in a weeklong series of posts in celebration of The Month of Friendship.

Today's post is from Shasta Nelson, life coach and founder of GirlFriendCircles.com, the only online community that matches new friends offline by connecting circles of women in local areas. Shasta blogs weekly about women's friendships at GirlFriendCircles.com/Blog and is hosting friendship events in Chicago, San Francisco and L.A this month. If her name sounds familiar, it may be because she was a guest on the CBS Morning Show yesterday!

Here's Shasta's story:

When I moved to San Francisco, I had an amazing circle of friends spread across the country but soon realized that as much as I loved Facebook and my Iphone-I certainly didn't want all my relationships to be limited to them. I reached a point where I wanted to make new memories with friends, rather than the reporting of life or re-living of the past that we tend to do with "those we used to be close to."

I needed present friends. I needed local friends. I needed new friends.

Normalize New Friends

Those are hard words to say though, for some reason. We have this stigma that to admit needing friends might somehow be misinterpreted as saying "No one likes me" or "I have no friends." It taps into all our insecurities, fears and any shame we have over any relationship that didn't last forever.

 

In fact, most friendships don't last forever. Reported in September's MORE magazine, Sally Koslow says that "the average person now replaces half her friends every seven years." At first I gasped when I read that, and then I nodded in recognition.

 

The truth is that there are multiple times in our lives when we need to expand our circle of friends! Tons of times! Whether it's a move, a break-up/divorce, a realization that all your friends have kids/are single/moved away, a change in jobs or decision to work from home, a life-changing experience, a new hobby, a shift in life focus when our kids move out or we retire.... The list could go on-and-on! None of those reasons are a judgment against us! They are simply stages of life that remind us that while a couple of our friendships might prevail through differences, the truth is that we all need to be constantly replenishing our circle of friends to ensure it's meaningful for who we are now.

Need New Friends

There have been numerous reports linking a circle of supportive friends to lowering stress levels, increasing happiness, prevention of diseases, faster recovery rates for healing and greater chance of reaching life goals. Add to that the reports that relationships improve your odds of survival by 50 percent, and we have a serious reminder that our friendships are not a nice-to-have, but a necessity!

 

The research published in July in the journal PLoS Medicine, compared low social connectedness to have the same health impact as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, to being an alcoholic, as more harmful than not exercising and twice as harmful as obesity!

 

I'm not a big fan of telling people how many friends they need. We're all different, but studies seem to suggest people are happiest with somewhere between 5-10 meaningful friendships. And other reports show that half of us have less than 2 people we'd call real friends. There seems to be some discrepancy between our experience and our ideal?

 

Note that there is a difference between how many people you're friendly with versus how many people you call a friend. Huge difference. It's common to assume we have lots of friends, but when we examine it we realize we simply know a lot of friendly people through work and school. An easy test for me is to ask myself "How many people would I feel comfortable asking for a ride to the airport?" or "Who is in my life that I could text last-minute to see if they were available to hang out without it feeling weird?" Easy things-we're not even talking about taking care of your kids when they're sick!

Invite New Friends

Recognizing who is in our circle and acknowledging if, and when, we need to invite more meaningful friendships into our lives is part of taking care of our wellbeing.

 

I'll be the first to admit, it was often more tempting to call an established friend and tell her about my need to go shopping than it was to call up a potential friend to see if she wanted to go shopping. In the beginning it was less meaningful to talk to a new friend than to call someone who already knew me, but I held the truth that, like dating, I simply had to put the consistent time into my new relationships to create those bonds.

 

It didn't "just happen." Friendships don't just show up. Fun people might. But turning them into friendships simply is an investment we have to make.

 

And now, every Tuesday night, I have girls' night with the same four women in San Francisco. I know who to call for a ride to the airport and who to text for a last-minute get together!

 

So, now, my passion is helping foster that process for everyone else! Do it for your health & happiness!

 

On Wednesday, The Friendship Doctor (Irene) will be posting my thoughts here, with cross-posts on the blogs of other members of The Friendship Circle too.

 

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The Friendship Circle (a network of five organizations committed to celebrating the power of female friendships) is partnering in September for a Month of Friendship. Visit these Friendship Circle websites daily in September for more inspiration and information:

• The Friendship Blog – by psychologist, professor of psychiatry, and author, Dr. Irene S. Levine (The Friendship Doctor), author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving A Breakup with Your Best Friend. Follow Irene on Twitter.
• GirlfriendCelebrations – premier source of girls night ideas on the web. Founded by friends Dawn Williams Bertuca and Tina VanZant Bishop. Girlfriend Celebrations on Facebook and Twitter
• GirlFriendCircles.com - only online community that matches new friends offline by connecting circles of women in local areas, by Shasta Nelson. On Facebook and Twitter.
• Girlfriendology.com - online community for women based on inspiration, appreciation and celebration of female friendship. Created by Debba Haupert. On Facebook and Twitter.
• MWF Seeking BFF - chronicles the author’s search for a new best friend after moving to a new city for love, by Rachel Bertsche.

If you feel the slightest bit shy or uncomfortable in large groups, the anticipation of attending a conference with hundreds of strangers can be absolutely daunting. Take it from me. You think about where you'll sit, whether you'll have anyone to talk to, and whether you'll be eating lunch at a table for one.

 

I'm sad to report that it doesn't get easier with age or experience, at least not for me. After attending scores of professional meetings, I'll be a first-timer at BlogHer '10 tomorrow. Earlier today, I had already begun mentally rehearsing what I might do to make the meeting more satisfying and productive and wisely asked some of my Facebook friends for their advice on how to make friends. Here are some of their suggestions and mine:

 

1. Plan ahead

Before you go, check out the list of attendees and/or speakers to see if any names seem familiar. You may spot the name of someone with whom you know you have something in common. Perhaps, you've read the person's work or you have a mutual friend. You can make plans to meet up when you arrive or you can keep your eyes open for an opportunity to meet when you get there. Another idea: Before you go, Facebook and Tweet that you're going. Maybe someone will respond and you'll no longer feel alone.

 

2. Make yourself approachable

The skills for making friends at a conference aren't too different than those for making friends anywhere else. Making eye contact and smiling suggests you're interested in being friendly. Conversely, looking into your book or down into your chest signals, "Don't bother me." Check your name tag and make sure it's not hidden or folded under a crease on your blouse. One Facebook friend suggested writing something provocative on it like, "Ask me about my ten tips for... " For me, writing "Hi" in bold print would seem highly provocative.

 

3. Engage in conversation

Yes, it's always a bit risky but you have to take chances if you really want to make a friend. So if you see something, say something: If you like someone's shoes or laptop, compliment the person. Alternatively, your M.O. might be to ask someone a question or two about the conference (interesting sessions or speakers, for example), about the locale where the meeting is being held (names of restaurants, sightseeing attractions, etc.), or something bordering on personal (when did you get here, where are you from, what kind of work do you do, etc). If you get a response, it might open the door for more conversation. If at first you don't succeed, try again with someone else.

 

4. Listen, really listen

Don't just shoot questions without giving the other person a chance to talk. Conversation requires listening attentively (This means no texting or reading emails while listening!). See what the other person wants to talk about and try to gauge her interest in meeting someone new.

 

5. Location, location, location

If you find an empty seat between two people, ask whether that seat is taken rather than looking for a seat at the end of an empty row. You will be giving yourself a shot at connecting with two potentially interesting people on both sides of you. While not impossible, it is usually tougher to make headway when you sit down next to two people who are already coupled.

 

6. Come bearing essential gifts

In the conference brochure for BlogHer, they suggest bringing a power strip to share with others. What a great idea for engaging with neighbors! You bet I have one packed in my bag already! If you aren't using an IPad or computer, an extra pen may even do the trick.

 

7. Watch the traffic

Learn the layout of the conference venue and say hello to people who look lost or confused. If there is a map of the conference area, keep it handy so someone else can borrow it. People always welcome an overture from someone who seems helpful. Two of my Facebook friends admit to using this technique.

 

8. Follow up on any reasonable leads

If you seem to be hitting it off well, see if the person wants to join you for lunch or a drink---or to share a cab back to wherever. One of my most social Facebook friends says that this is how she really cements the budding friendship.

 

9. Bring business cards

In the event that you make a potential friend or colleague at the meeting, exchange business cards with your email and blog address so you can contact each other afterwards. Sending an email that says, "It was nice meeting you," makes sure your friend-to-be has your email contact information. You can also add them as a Facebook friend or connect with the person on LinkedIn.

 

10. Guard against being intrusive

Don't be too pushy, too inquisitive, too needy or too talkative. Friendships are reciprocal so you need to be sure the other person is as interested in making a friend as you are. That will often be the case!

 

And, of course, if you want to make friends with an author, ask where you can buy her book! If you have already read it, be sure to tell her that you loved it.

 

Thanks Facebook friends for all the great ideas~

QUESTION

Dear Irene,

After years of friendship, my relationship with a colleague was damaged while both of us were enduring major losses in our lives. I think I managed to keep my issues out of the workplace, but hers caused her to be very angry. Unfortunately, most of her anger was directed at me. I suppose she decided I was the weakest link at the time.

 

She was nasty to everyone around her but even they would admit that her new hobby was attacking me. It was so stressful that my heart beat faster when I saw her name in my inbox; there was a good chance the message would be some kind of attack or insult. I eventually removed myself from the toxic situation several years ago and gained some distance between us. Since that time, I speak when spoken to, basically, but never reach out or contact her. She is no longer my colleague and I do not HAVE to stay connected although we do have mutual friends.

 

She recently sent me a friend request on Facebook and I accepted it, thinking that if I didn't, she would interpret that as a rejection and start attacking again. In hindsight, I wish I had ignored it because she then sent me a very nasty Facebook message. It was inappropriate and unprovoked, but it showed who she is at her core -- somebody who isn't a nice person.

 

I think I have four options: Respond (which isn't really a choice as far as I'm concerned); Do nothing; Hide my wall and its comments from her (so that my name doesn't show up on her news feed and remind her that she hasn't attacked me lately) or Unfriend her. What do you think I should do?

Thanks!

Ms. No Name

ANSWER

Dear Ms. No Name,

Facebook has added a new layer of complexity to the world of friendship---both in terms of whom we friend and defriend, and in terms of how we hande online frenemies. You aren't the only one grappling with these problems. (BTW - Complicated Facebook privacy settings don't make it any easier!)

 

In this case, your once-real friend is still a hostile person. This time it seeped out in the form of a nasty Facebook message. You have learned a hard lesson: Time may pass but character endures. So what do you do now? You have no obligation or reason to respond to a vicious email so I'm glad you eliminated that option.

 

You shouldn't have to worry about a frenemy lurking each time you post so I would hide your wall and comments from her. The only reason to keep her as a Facebook "friend" would be to keep an eye on her and on your reputation.

 

Yuk! So sorry this happened to you.

Best,
Irene

 

This is a "lifeline" question: Anyone else have a similar problem---how did you resolve it?

One way to replenish your stock of friends is to dig deep into your past. Rediscovering a friend with whom you have a shared history can truly be a treasure. Imagine reconnecting with someone who is familiar with the neighborhood where you grew up, your parents and/or siblings, or your old elementary school teachers. Or perhaps, it is a person with whom you shared some firsts: sharing a bunk the first time you went to sleepaway camp, a locker in high school, or the friend you made at your first job.

 

Be forewarned: What happens after you say hello, isn't always predictable. Sometimes, old friends are able to laugh together and pick up right where they left off. Other times, it feels awkward and there isn't much to say after you've exchanged a few pleasantries and memories; you wonder if it is really the same person you knew then. Yet, if you keep your expectations in check, the odds are that just succeeding at making the connection, even if turns out to be fleeting, will be well worth the effort.

 

After we found each other online, at one of my book-signing events in Maryland, I was left breathless when I saw my best friend Anita from my old neighborhood in New York showed up to meet me. She has a terrific memory and jogged my brain circuits with stories from our childhood that I had long forgotten (or perhaps repressed). Some time ago, I posted here about how finding a long lost friend was akin to Finding Buried Treasure. Then yesterday morning, I saw a wonderful article in the New York Times Personal Tech section, by Eric Taub, that added a few new tricks.

 

So here's my new and improved list on how to find a long lost friend:

• Try finding the person using Google by putting her first name and last name in quotes. See what comes up. If you know the city and/or state where she lives or last lived, you can refine the search by putting that after her name in quotes.

• Similarly, you can try Pipl.com. This is a meta-search engine that finds people using numerous public databases.

• Check out groups from your high school or college on social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, or MySpace.

• Search for former classmates on sites like Reunion.com or Classmates.com---or email or phone the alumni office of your alma mater.

• Let your fingers do the walking---use the white pages directory on switchboard.com.

• No luck finding her in a directory? Are her parents or other relatives findable? Chances are they may still live in the same town she did. Try finding their phone numbers or email addresses.

• If you don't know any relatives, you could try the friend-of-a-friend route. Do you know someone who knew her that you are still in touch with and who may be easier to find?

• Any clue to the kind of work she is doing? Perhaps, you can find her through LinkedIn, a professional association, or the human resources office of her former place of employment.

• Jigsaw.com is a database with 20 million business contacts, including addresses, titles, phone numbers and e-mail addresses. You can either subscribe or pay a $5 charge to find contact information for one individual.

• In my prior post, I mentioned that finding old female friends is far more challenging than finding males ones because of changes in surnames. Taub offered a clever suggestion: Search major newspapers for engagement or wedding announcements that may offer clues to your girlfriend's new married name.

• Finally, even better than digging: If you develop a blog, personal website, or other web presence, your old friends may come out of the woodwork looking for you.

I'd love you to comment here about any experiences you've had in finding a long lost friend!

QUESTION

Dear Irene:

My friend sent me a message on Facebook (a personal message, not where it could be read by everyone). She said: Hey, your birthday is coming up Friday, what do you want to do? She said she wanted us to do something, just her and me. She said her boyfriend didn't want her to go out but she said we were going anyway.

 

This was on Wednesday. I changed my plans with my parents (who were going to take me out) on Friday night. On Thursday night, my friend and I texted (on the phone) about where we might go and said goodnight at about 10PM.

 

Friday comes and I don't hear anything from her until 4:30PM when I noticed I had a missed call on my cell phone (I was shopping and didn't hear it). She didn't leave a message so I texted her and told her I was sorry I missed her call and that I would be home shortly. Never received a reply. Waited and waited to hear from her and again nothing.

 

At 7:20PM, she sent me a text message saying Happy Birthday and that was it!! I noticed later that night, after her boyfriend went to work at 9:15PM, she was on Facebook talking to her boyfriend for a minute. Needless to say I was very upset. We have been friends since 2002 and she has ditched me two other times in the past, but this time I really thought we would do something.

 

I don't understand why she did all that if she wasn't going to do anything. Why not just tell me happy birthday and leave it at that? My parents were mad, too, because they changed their plans because of it. I feel really stupid. I haven't talked to her since. She sent me a Facebook "heart" but I haven't opened it and she sent me a text message saying her daughter made cheerleader and then a text message saying: Thank you for making me smile this year. I still haven't replied.

 

She really upset me this time. Should I wait for an apology of some kind or just start talking to her again. What if she invites me down for the weekend? Should I decline? Help?

Signed,
Phoebe

 

ANSWER

Dear Phoebe:

Although this friend has disappointed you in the past, it was particularly insensitive of her to let you down on your special day. Even if she had a valid reason (for example, illness or a last minute crisis), she should have apologized immediately. Yes, I agree, it would have been far better if she had avoided this fiasco and just wished you a happy birthday rather than disappoint you and leave you hanging.

 

If you want to save the friendship, you can't ignore what happened. You have to have a heart-to-heart and let her know that this behavior is unacceptable. If you try to brush it under the rug, your hurt feelings will likely poison the relationship.

 

Whether or not your friend can change her ways is a big question. Even if you enjoy her company when you're together, you may not be able to count on her keeping her word. If this is the case, think carefully about whether you really want to maintain the friendship and are willing to adjust your expectations accordingly. It might be helpful to write the pros and cons down on paper to help you make a decision.

I hope this helps.

Best,
Irene

I rarely post a link to someone else's article on my blog but I absolutely loved this essay by Walter Kirn that touches on  friendship, loneliness and Facebook.

 

A Facebook Christmas Love Story (subtitle: How Facebook cured my holiday loneliness) was published in the New York Times Magazine on Sunday, December 20th. While a widely reported study co-authored by Nicholas Christakis of Harvard Medical School (published in this month's Journal of Personality and Social Psychology) suggests that loneliness is contagious, this essay suggests that when a lonely person reaches out, even digitally, they may find a satisfying connection.

 

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

 

P.S. Kirn is the author of Up in the Air~

 

QUESTION

Dear Irene:

My BFF from high school and I were so tight--even beyond our school years. We never had a falling out or a fight, just suddenly stopped talking a few years ago. I friended her on Facebook recently. She friended me back...and then, total silence on both our parts for many, many months.

 

It's awkward. I still do care about her dearly. So strange to look at her life without me in it in any way. She feels like a stranger. Was it wrong to request her friendship on Facebook before clearing the air? Should I let more time pass? Make the first move? Any advice you can share about a failed friendship and Facebook would be very helpful!

Janene

ANSWER

Dear Janene:

During the high school and college years, women (and men) change tremendously as they begin to mature and pursue their life goals, both personal and professional. Because so much change takes place, it's common for friendships, even very close ones, to fall apart as lives and interests diverge.

 

Since you friended your BFF on Facebook and she responded, there must still be some warm feelings between you. But they may be based on shared history alone rather than based on a connection between the two people you have become.

 

She has become somewhat of a stranger to you now as you are to her. Why don't you send her an email or private message on Facebook and tell her a little bit about your life since you last knew each other? You can mention that you think of her dearly. See if she responds.

 

But please don't think of the friendship you had as one that failed. It worked for that period of time. And don't have unrealistic expectations of picking it up where you left it because it may or may not work now.

 

In any case, you have little to lose by reaching out and trying.

Best,
Irene

 

This blog post originally appeared on the Long Island Exchange relationship blog of Janene Mascarella.

The New Oxford American Dictionary chose the verb "unfriend" as its 2009 Word of the Year (WOTY) and defined it this way: "to remove someone as a ‘friend' on a social networking site such as Facebook." The word "has both currency and potential longevity," explained Christine Lindberg, Oxford's senior lexicographer on the OUP Blog.

 

The choice of this year's word is telling because the act of unfriending (or defriending) is part of the pruning process of maintaining a presence on social media, like Facebook, MySpace and LinkedIn. It's easy to collect more friends than you want or need, including many contacts that may turn out not to be "friends" by any reasonable definition of the word.

 

Fortunately, if someone posts too often, bores you, lurks without posting, has questionable politics or ethics, says something caustic or insensitive, acts unpredictably, or even uses too many exclamation points, it's relatively easy to get rid of them electronically---with no more than a few keystrokes.

 

But dumping a true friend-online or off-isn't as easy because it raises the risk of collateral damage. When two people are really "friends," they're likely to have numerous connections. They may have common friends, live in the same neighborhood, share a workplace or livelihood, belong to the same community or organizations, or have exchanged information (including secrets and confidences) with one another.

 

So a word of caution: Even though a new verb has entered the common parlance, think twice before you unfriend. Doing it carries some of the same risks of dumping someone offline.

 

Click here to see the other words of the year.

I've never met Sophia Dembling in person but consider her a friend of sorts. We met as members of one or another online writer communities that we both frequent because we have so many overlapping interests. She lives in Texas but her roots are pure New York. I love her sense of humor and her refreshing candor.

 

When I surveyed more than 1500 women for my book, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend, women described what it was like to meet a close friend. "We just clicked," was the most common phrase they used. You can say that Sophia and I clicked, both literally and figuratively.

 

Then I made the mistake of posting a comment on World Hum after my "friend" had blogged about introverted travelers. Without thinking, I checked the box saying that I wanted to follow the thread. Over the coming months, I was bombarded with emails announcing more than 115 responses (and still counting) from her readers. In addition to being astounded by the number of followers she has, it made me realize how many people, including me, resonate to the concept of feeling as though we are introverts.

 

I asked Sophia to write this guest post on the topic of friendship among introverts. Feel free to post your own feelings about introversion at the end of this thread :-)

 

Sophia Speaks about friendship and introverts...

 

I finished reading Irene's wonderful book last night and it gave me lots to think about. Certainly I was comforted to read that not all friendships-indeed, few friendships-are meant to last a lifetime.

 

Losing friends can be particularly difficult for introverts because we don't surround ourselves with people. We prefer a few intimate friends to lots of less-intense friendships, and deep discussion with one person to a party full of festive chitchat. For us, losing one good friend can leave a larger hole in our lives than it might for an extrovert with 25 best friends.

 

Attrition in my friendships in recent years has forced me to think about what I most need and want in my friends. Among other things, and like all of us, I want my friends to understand me. But first, of course, that entails understanding myself. Writing and talking to people about introversion has helped me gain insight into my own behavior and what extroverts might want to know about their introverted friends.

 

It's all about energy: What appears to be the bottom-line difference between introverts and extroverts is that social interactions are energizing to extroverts but draining for introverts. This is why I might come to your party but leave long before the conga line starts. And why a stretch of interaction then requires a few days of solitude to recover. If you understand this, you will have grasped a key quality of your introverted friends and their perhaps puzzling behavior (why didn't she come to the after-hours party?) will make more sense.

 

 

I don't need to come out of my shell: A huge misconception about introverts is that we're all shy. Nope, not the same thing. One can be introverted and shy, or introverted and not shy. (Same with extroversion.) I'm not shy. When I'm in the mood to socialize, I'm perfectly friendly and outgoing. When I'm reluctant to socialize, it's choice, not fear. So if I decline an invitation, please don't push or insist it will be good for me. I have my reasons and they're valid. (At the same time, I promise not to say "no thanks" too often.)

 

The more is not the merrier: Not for me, anyway. If we make plans, please, please don't invite other people to join us-at the very least, check with me first. Introverts usually prefer one-on-one to groups and I'm bummed when the nice cozy visit I anticipated turns into a convivial racket. I'm sure your friends are wonderful people, just don't spring them on me and please don't be offended if I decline invitations to group outings. (Although I do believe that friends attend friends' parties. It's the right thing to do and if you throw one, I will come.)

 

Anything but the telephone: I have one friend who likes to call "just to hear my voice." Very sweet of her but I wish she would invite me to lunch instead. (Yes, of course I invite her; I usually initiate our get-togethers.) Like many introverts, I loathe the telephone. For one thing, we tend to think and respond slowly, and dead air on the telephone doesn't work. I'm awkward on the phone, especially when just-to-chat calls drop on me from out of the blue. And I feel bad that the other person can always sense my yearning to break free. But really, it's not you, it's the phone. Don't take it personally. (I do talk on the phone, sometimes for hours, with far-flung friends. However, I like to either schedule those calls or initiate them so I don't feel ambushed. I often screen my calls and return them when I feel up to it.)

 

Yes, I like online communication: Don't give me grief: The Internet is a godsend for introverts. Not as a replacement for face-to-face, no no!, but to stay connected between visits and take care of business (making plans, for example) without obligatory and tedious phone chitchat. Want to make me happy? Set up a get-together via e-mail. (I don't text or IM much, but many introverts like those, too.) I'm also a fan of social networking-a Facebook extrovert. I'm not a loner in my parents' basement with lots of virtual friends and no "real" ones. My Facebook friends are mostly real-life friends, many of whom are far away. I love being able to kibitz with them anytime online. (Of course, as a writer, I also spend a lot of time in front of a computer.) If you're not a fan of Facebook, that's fine. Just don't hassle me about it, OK?

 

Sophia blogs at The Introvert's Corner on PsychologyToday.com as well as on the travel site Flyover America with her friend Jenna Schnuer and she reviews fitness DVDs on Suit Up and Show Up. If that's not enough of her, there's more on www.SophiaDembling.com/

 

1) Call, email, or get together with one or more of your best friends. Show and tell your friend how much you care. Don't wait until Sunday because by then, you may forget. Last night I attended a memorial service for a very dear friend (once my elementary school teacher!) whom I had known for most of my lifetime and I only wished that we had had one more hour to chat.

 

2) If you are a blogger, write a post about Friendship Day. (I'll be happy to help with a quote.) On this special day (which coincides with the pub date of my new book), write your own or repost one of my posts from www.TheFriendshipBlog.com (with attribution, of course).

Email me (Irene@IreneLevine.com) the URL of your post by Sunday midnight and my three favorites will receive 2 free copies of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend (one for you and one for a best friend).

 

3) If you aren't a blogger but have a Facebook or LinkedIn page, please use your status box to remind your friends about Women's Friendship Day and cut and paste this note: "My friend, Irene S. Levine, has written a must-read book about female friendships. See: http://www.TheFriendshipBlog.com/book. Check it out."

 

4) If you Twitter, cut and paste this tweet: 9/20 is Women's Friendship Day. "Check out my friend Irene's new book on Amazon http://bit.ly/uZYj3 #BFF"

 

5) If you are reading this note, I hope that you are more than a virtual friend to me! If so, please email AT LEAST 5 of your best friends about my book, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend (Overlook Press). All of us have suffered the pain, at least once, of losing a best friendship that we thought would be forever. After spending two years thinking about female friendships and surveying more than 1500 women from all walks of life, I've learned that falling in and out love with best friends is universal.

 

Like me, haven't you always wondered about these complex but vital relationships that are so essential to a woman's physical and emotional well-being? What makes some friendships stick and others fall apart? How can you make myself a keeper? How do you move on if you've been dumped?

 

Just forward this note: "Sunday is National Women's Friendship Day. My friend, Irene S. Levine, has written a must-read book about female friendships, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend. See: http://www.TheFriendshipBlog.com/book"

 

As you know, it's hard for a small author to get the word out these days without the help of friends---so I hope if you'll help. This is a one-time request, either because you have chosen to be my Facebook friend, LinkedIn friend, Twitter follower, or blog reader.

May you always be able to celebrate the joy of having close female friends who make a difference in your life!

Warm regards,
Irene