classmates.com

One way to replenish your stock of friends is to dig deep into your past. Rediscovering a friend with whom you have a shared history can truly be a treasure. Imagine reconnecting with someone who is familiar with the neighborhood where you grew up, your parents and/or siblings, or your old elementary school teachers. Or perhaps, it is a person with whom you shared some firsts: sharing a bunk the first time you went to sleepaway camp, a locker in high school, or the friend you made at your first job.

 

Be forewarned: What happens after you say hello, isn't always predictable. Sometimes, old friends are able to laugh together and pick up right where they left off. Other times, it feels awkward and there isn't much to say after you've exchanged a few pleasantries and memories; you wonder if it is really the same person you knew then. Yet, if you keep your expectations in check, the odds are that just succeeding at making the connection, even if turns out to be fleeting, will be well worth the effort.

 

After we found each other online, at one of my book-signing events in Maryland, I was left breathless when I saw my best friend Anita from my old neighborhood in New York showed up to meet me. She has a terrific memory and jogged my brain circuits with stories from our childhood that I had long forgotten (or perhaps repressed). Some time ago, I posted here about how finding a long lost friend was akin to Finding Buried Treasure. Then yesterday morning, I saw a wonderful article in the New York Times Personal Tech section, by Eric Taub, that added a few new tricks.

 

So here's my new and improved list on how to find a long lost friend:

• Try finding the person using Google by putting her first name and last name in quotes. See what comes up. If you know the city and/or state where she lives or last lived, you can refine the search by putting that after her name in quotes.

• Similarly, you can try Pipl.com. This is a meta-search engine that finds people using numerous public databases.

• Check out groups from your high school or college on social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, or MySpace.

• Search for former classmates on sites like Reunion.com or Classmates.com---or email or phone the alumni office of your alma mater.

• Let your fingers do the walking---use the white pages directory on switchboard.com.

• No luck finding her in a directory? Are her parents or other relatives findable? Chances are they may still live in the same town she did. Try finding their phone numbers or email addresses.

• If you don't know any relatives, you could try the friend-of-a-friend route. Do you know someone who knew her that you are still in touch with and who may be easier to find?

• Any clue to the kind of work she is doing? Perhaps, you can find her through LinkedIn, a professional association, or the human resources office of her former place of employment.

• Jigsaw.com is a database with 20 million business contacts, including addresses, titles, phone numbers and e-mail addresses. You can either subscribe or pay a $5 charge to find contact information for one individual.

• In my prior post, I mentioned that finding old female friends is far more challenging than finding males ones because of changes in surnames. Taub offered a clever suggestion: Search major newspapers for engagement or wedding announcements that may offer clues to your girlfriend's new married name.

• Finally, even better than digging: If you develop a blog, personal website, or other web presence, your old friends may come out of the woodwork looking for you.

I'd love you to comment here about any experiences you've had in finding a long lost friend!

In the midst of an archaeological dig amongst the piles on my messy desk this morning, I found a not-yet-used 2008 calendar from Papyrus. When I glanced at the celebrations of the year, I discovered that today is Long Lost Friend Day.

 

I don’t know who started it---Hallmark or Papyrus, I suspect. But it’s really a nice reminder of the warm fuzzies you feel when you reconnect with someone from your past. In the old days, before the internet, if you lost touch with a person you had to hire a private investigator but now there are so many electronic tools that make it easy to find people from your past. Admittedly, if your female friend has changed her surname, it makes the search a bit more challenging.

Want to find a long lost friend? Here are some ways to begin looking:

• Try finding the person using Google by putting her first name and last name in quotes. See what comes up. If you know the city and/or state where she lives or last lived, you can refine the search by putting that after her name in quotes.
• Check out groups from your high school or college on social networking sites like Facebook or MySpace.
• Search for former classmates on sites like Reunion.com or Classmates.com---or email or phone the alumni office of your school.
• Let your fingers do the walking---use the white pages directory on switchboard.com.
• No luck finding her in a directory? Are her parents or other relatives findable? Chances are they may still live in the same town she did. Try finding their phone numbers or email addresses.
• If you don’t know any relatives, you could try the friend-of-a-friend route. Do you know someone who knew her that you are still in touch with and who may be easier to find?
• Any clue to the kind of work she is doing? Perhaps, you can find her through LinkedIn, a professional association, or the human resources office of her former place of employment.

Even better than digging: If you develop a blog or personal website, your old friends may come out of the woodwork looking for you. I was so delighted to hear from some of my childhood friends who serendipitously found me.

Have any of you successfully reconnected with retro friends? Please post your stories---and I hope you will reach out and touch somebody whose friendship has been meaningful to you. Oh, Happy Long Lost Friend Day! (Any and all suggestions for de-cluttering my desk are welcome too.)

Kappa Delta Sorority, the sponsor of National Women’s Friendship Day, has compiled a list of ideas for telling our friends how much they mean to us today! I‘ve listed the best of them and added a few ideas of my own: