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Tag: ambivalence

Can a mentor be a friend? Not always

I’m female in my early thirties and my female college mentor is in her mid-50s. When I was her student she invited me to her house to help me study. I thought it was kind of odd and crossing boundaries.

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The friendship pause that refreshes

November 23, 2010 | By | 3 Replies Continue Reading

QUESTION Dear Irene, I have a group of girlfriends, basically six of us, who’ve known each other since high school. Anyway, I got very close with three of them: Annie, Carole and Beth. I thought we would be best friends forever just like in the movies. I was, and probably still am, very insecure. I [...]

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A friend asks: Should I throw her Maid of Honor under a bus?

October 4, 2010 | By | 3 Replies Continue Reading

QUESTION Dear Irene, Bride invites me to the bridal shower, the bachelorette party and wedding. Says call Maid of Honor for details. Maid of Honor doesn’t call/text or email back. Bride says she is bummed I didn’t make it, but I tried to.   What do I do? Throw the Maid of Honor under the [...]

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Martha and Her: The Best of Friends?

March 30, 2010 | By | 3 Replies Continue Reading

Dear Martha Stewart,   After reading Mariana Pasternak’s new telltale book, The Best of Friends: Martha and Me (Harper, 2010), I know how betrayed you must feel. You have to be asking yourself: How could Mariana, who I considered one of my closest friends, betray me like this? Granted, I’ve only read her side of [...]

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Caution: Frenemies can be bad for your health

July 10, 2009 | By | 9 Replies Continue Reading

In my experience, whatever the problem, giving it a name is a first step in solving it. That’s why I was pleased that Merriam-Webster included the word “fren-e-my” (plural: fren-e-mies) in the list of 100 new words it announced today that were added to the Collegiate Dictionary, Eleventh Edition. The term frenemy, seamlessly blending the [...]

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She’s Just Not That Into You: Six ways to know when a girlfriend’s a frenemy

February 11, 2009 | By | 10 Replies Continue Reading

He’s Just Not That Into You decodes the rules of heterosexual dating. But the relationship between girlfriends can be just as powerful, irritating, and unfathomable as any relationship with a guy. Here are my six ways for women to recognize when "she’s just not that into you." Read my latest post on HuffPo, SHE’s Just [...]

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Escaping from a toxic triangle

January 21, 2009 | By | 61 Replies Continue Reading

QUESTION Dear Irene, I’m a 40-year-old woman who feels like she’s back in junior high. I have three kids who are very involved in sports and activities. Over the last four years, my husband and I developed a group of friends with kids the same ages. My closest friend in the group was a woman [...]

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A friendship too broken to fix?

December 28, 2008 | By | 4 Replies Continue Reading

QUESTION Dear Irene, Nicole and I met soon after each of us moved to a new town and we hit it off immediately. We were both adrenaline junkies, partners in crime who enjoyed outdoor activities. Sometimes we thought of each other as twin sisters or maybe more, like teenage brothers. I’m a lesbian and Nicole [...]

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Friend or Frenemy: Redux

September 17, 2008 | By | 5 Replies Continue Reading

In an interesting article in yesterday’s Staten Island Advance, relationship columnist Elise McIntosh looks at the distinctions between friends and frenemies.   She interviewed the authors of the new book Friend or Frenemy: A Guide to the Friends You Need and the Ones You Don’t (Harper 2008) by co-authors Andrea Lavinthal and Jessica Rozler (discussed [...]

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Sticks and Stones: Perversions of the language of friendship

February 16, 2008 | By | 8 Replies Continue Reading

I found a new-to-me friendship term in the Urban Dictionary, frienvy. It describes the envious feelings someone has towards a friend who loses weight, gets a promotion, or finds a new love. OK, it’s kind of cute. The dictionary also defines friendwhoring, the verb: stealing someone else’s friends and making them your own. Getting a [...]

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