Whether to go to her kids’ party depends on why you’re going.
I’m having a really hard time deciding if I should attend a friend’s party for her children. We have unresolved issues and I don’t feel that she has been that great of a friend to me. On the other hand I still love her for the friend she used to be and I miss being in her children’s lives.
I have three children and she has twins. My children call her auntie and we live in the same neighborhood. This year I approached her with some concerns that I had about our friendship that I had and after that things have not been the same. She only talks to me through text and only if I initiate conversation. I decided to not contact her to see if she would contact me and it’s been over 30 days.
She sent me an invite to the party. I feel it was just to save face. She never misses my children’s birthdays and this year my son turned one and the other turned five, and she did not acknowledge them:(.
I don’t want to be spiteful, but I’m not sure I should attend. A lot has gone on with our friendship and we have a few mutual friends (that I introduced her to) whom I feel she has tried to turn against me. I don’t know if it’s time to end the relationship and cut all ties or be the bigger person and just go to the party.
It might be nice to go for the sake of your children if they are friends with the other kids and consider your friend an auntie. Although you seem to be less friendly with this woman, you still live in the same neighborhood, have mutual friends, and don’t want the relationship to feel any more awkward than it does now. I understand how hurt you must have felt when she suddenly stopped acknowledging your children’s birthdays.
A week or two after the party, depending on how things go and how she treats you there, you could ask to meet for coffee to talk about what went wrong with your friendship one more time. If she doesn’t want to get together or you still can’t resolve the issues between you, you can just let go at that point and remain neighbors rather than friends.
If she sent you the invitation to “save face,” that’s not all bad. Like your friend, you don’t want to involve any more people in your breakup either. Hope this helps in a disappointing and awkward situation.
My best, Irene
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Category: Relationships with ex-friends