The Friendship Blog Newsletter

Season's Greetings and All That Jazz! - December 25, 2009

With all the frenzy surrounding the launch of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend, I skipped several newsletters so it seemed like a year-end wrap-up would be timely.

In case you were hibernating in a cave and didn't hear my shout-outs, my book was published on September 20th, coinciding with Women's Friendship Day. I was pleased to partner with Kappa Delta Sorority, creators of the day, in announcing the book's release.

Thanks to my friend Donna and the staff at Donna Hair Design and Border's of Mount Kisco, New York, I had an over-the-top book launch party in my hometown, Chappaqua, New York. My friends Linda and Risa sponsored another great party at the Border's at the White Flint Mall in Rockville, Maryland, where I previously lived. Both events were filled with an outpouring of love from current friends and colleagues and those from years past (since we know that all BFFs don't last forever:-).

I also loved all the opportunities to speak about friendship, meet readers, and make new friends at a number of library, bookstore, and college appearances that took place in the fall.

The book received a wonderful response from reviewers and and much appreciated support from the publicity team at Overlook Press. This all led to a flurry of media activity, including a 30-city national radio tour and guest appearances on several TV shows, including The Today Show (one of the high points), and interviews with journalists from more than 100 magazines, newspapers and blogs (Check some of them out on the Press section of my blog).

I did find time (Okay, admittedly, I'm a bit obsessive about blogging) to publish 59 blog posts between September and December that included responses to a wide range of reader questions; timely but unsolicited friendship advice; and interviews with leading authors and friendship experts.

I continued to blog as "The Friendship Doctor" in the Health, Style, and Living sections of The Huffington Post  and began blogging on Psychology Today. 

One of the most gratifying aspects of marketing the book has been speaking to book and reader groups. For that reason, I introduced the option of "house calls" from The Friendship Doctor, offering readers the opportunity to invite me to participate in more of these events, either live or via the telephone.

On a very personal note, I want to thank my Drupal tech guru, my son Andrew, who recently set up Google Voice on The Friendship Blog so visitors can record their questions for The Friendship Doctor if they find it easier than keyboarding.

I truly appreciate the sense of friendship and community your questions and comments have engendered. They've challenged me, affirmed the vital role that friendships play in our lives, and, hopefully, have made me a better friend.

Every good wish for the New Year!

Irene

August 7, 2009

Dear Friends:

This was an exciting month! Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with your Best Friend will be released on September 20th (which coincides with Women’s Friendship Day).

My author’s copy arrived in the mail just a couple of days ago and I was delighted with how the cover turned out (the text didn’t turn out badly either but I knew what to expect!). Adding to the thrill, the book received a glowing review in Publisher’s Weekly, which is posted on my site. Take a look at: www.TheFriendshipBlog.com/book. There’s also a Readers Group Guide for book groups. If you have a book group and would like to have me participate in a discussion about female friendship with the group, please let me know.

My blog has a new name and a new look that I hope feels welcoming to you. Listed below are some of the posts that appeared last month in case you missed any of them. My next newsletter will tell you when and where you can buy the book!

Please keep sending your questions and comments coming. They are so helpful in helping me think about friendship.

Warm regards,
Irene

July 6, 2009
A lesson about female friendship from the ad world

Ad advertising study found: When it comes to customer loyalty, women aren’t necessarily more loyal than men; it’s just that their loyalties take a different form. What does that suggest about our friendships?

July 8, 2009
Who is Kristan Cole? Sarah Palin’s BFF

It’s hard to understand what makes some friendships stick while others fall apart. For better or worse, Sarah Palin and Kristin Cole remain BFFs. Shared history? Shared values? Loyalty? Trust? Maybe all of the above.

July 9, 2009
Caution: Frenemies can be bad for your health

The addition of the term frenemy to the Merriam-Webster dictionary offered the opportunity to take another look at the relationship between friendship and health. While most research has focused on the positive relationship between the two, an ambivalent relationship can be a potential source of irritation and stress.

July 13, 2009
Summertime When the Friendships Comes Easy

Julie Kraut, author of Slept Away, has written the perfect gift for moms to bring their daughters at camp to allay anxieties and any remnants of the nearly universal camper affliction: homesickness. Iinterviewed Julie about summer camp and friendship.

July 15, 2009
Five awkward friendship moments: What do you say when…?

What better person to ask about how to handle some of these awkward but common friendship scenarios than Florence Isaacs, author of the recently released What Do You Say When…Talking to People with Confidence on any Social or Business Occasion?

July 22, 2009
Is she a good mom but a lousy friend?

A woman writes about her friend who she feels has dumped her for her baby.

July 23, 2009
Gay/straight friendship: Is it possible?

A reader asks: Do you think a friendship can really exist between a straight woman and a lesbian?

July 29, 2009
I love my BFF but I can’t take her husband!

A reader says that her friendship is very important to her but when her friend’s husband is in the mix, things become very uncomfortable.

July 2, 2009

Dear Friends:

June was a hot and rainy month in New York---so there wasn't TOO much temptation to escape from my laptop. Juliet, my editor at Overlook Press, and I worked closely together to put all the finishing touches on Best Friends Forever; Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend and we decided on a cover design. We also developed a Reading Group Guide suitable for most book groups. If you would like an advance copy of the guide to share with your own group for possible adoption, please let me know.

I was fortunate to get wonderful book blurbs from other writers whose names I'm sure you'll recognize. Every writer always worries about the final product and those supportive endorsements really were a confidence-boost for me.

I hope you enjoyed some of my posts during the month of June, which included:

June 26, 2009 

A friendly case of maid-of-honor abuse

Every bride seems to turn into a Bridezilla but this one really seems to have taken the proverbial cake. How much must a maid-of-honor endure before she gets fed up?

June 23, 2009

Too close for comfort

It's very fortunate when you feel so close with a cousin, aunt, niece, or other female relative that they become a friend. But what happens when that person, with whom you have so many connections, loses all sense of boundaries and is driving you nuts?

June 21, 2009

The Real Housewives of Jericho

When I met Leslie Adler, mother-bear of The Vuv Club, I was sure I had met the Long Island version of The Real Housewives...an amazing group of women who have been friends through thick and thin.

June 15, 2009

Gossip promotes health and happiness: NOT

Okay, forget about the misleading headline from The NY Daily News. But a new study does suggest that a hormone associated with social bonding, specifically progesterone, may play a role in protecting women’s health and enhancing their longevity. 

June 8, 2009

June 8th was Best Friends Day: A day to Do Something!

Well that day has passed but it's never too late to brainstorm together with a friend to see what you can do to change the world! 

June 3, 2009

Which friend was jilted?

This reader was dumped by her friend because her girlfriend couldn't stand the idea of her having a girlfriend on the side. Right or wrong, some friends demand monogamy in their friendships.

June 1, 2009

Susan Boyle needs your friendship and support

By now, everyone around the world has heard about Susan Boyle, the runner-up on the finale of Britain's Got Talent. Perhaps the breakdown witnessed around the world offered a teachable moment about mental and emotional disorders. I hope so!

Thanks for reading my posts and helping me think about the meaning of our friendships.

Warm regards for a summer filled with the warmth of close friendships and more,

Irene

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

June 2, 2009

Dear Friends:

If you haven’t had a chance to look at The Friendship Blog during the month of May, the articles below are some of those you may have missed. I hope you'll have time to catch up on all the posts, information and opinions about female friendships.

Just click on the links; Be sure to check out the interesting reader comments too!

By the way, I received the galleys of my book on female friendship, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Break-Up With Your Best Friend, which is slated for publication by Overlook Press in September. I'll be giving talks and interviews in the fall and I’ll be sure to keep you posted on the news.

Warm regards,
Irene

May 31, 2009

Does a 'best friendship' need to be monogamous?

Is it unrealistic to want to have one best friend wrong? Is it wrong to feel like you want to be her one-and-only? Read this Q & A from a reader whose best friend doesn’t want to be monogamous.

May 28, 2009

The seven-year expiration date on friendships

It’s always exhilarating to make a close friend—a soul mate—someone you understand and who makes you feel understood. When this happens, it feels like the bond will last a lifetime. Yet most friendships, even the best of them, don’t last forever.  This article tells about a study that the confirms that the large majority of friendships tend to be fleeting.

May 19, 2009

A friendship stuck in Dullsville

This reader and her best friend are boring each other to tears. Read my advice about spicing up their relationship.

May 17, 2009

Seven friendship recovery affirmations

If you are reeling from the loss of a best friend, what should you be telling yourself?

May 17, 2009

Downgrading a disappointing friendship

Read this post from woman who has a long shared history with her friend that extends to their families. Now her best friend won’t answer her calls. What should she do?

May 10, 2009

On Mother’s Day

Read the story of the Migrant Mother, Florence Owens Thompson, whose picture taken during the Great Depression depicts the strength and resilience of motherhood

May 9, 2009

A misunderstanding with a primadonna

This reader writes about a friendship that reached its breaking point. Disagreements about money complicated the problem.

May 8, 2009

More on Friendship Circles: Sprichst du Deutsch?

Carolina Asuquo-Brown, a psychotherapist in Germany, talks about friendship circles. What are some of the factors at their foundation?

May 6, 2008

Circles of friends

A reader writes about feeling “circle envy.” Do most women have a circle of girlfriends like The Girls from Ames?

May 2, 2009

Have you been reading my posts on The Friendship Blog this month? If you haven't, this is what you've missed:

April 29


The Girls from Ames: An Interview with best-selling author Jeffrey Zaslow

I was thrilled to be able to interview Wall Street Journal columnist Jeffrey Zaslow about his new book that recently made the New York Times bestseller list. Zaslow also co-authored The Last Lecture with Randy Pausch.

April 29

Friendship by the Book - The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women & a Forty-Year Friendship

'Friendship by the Book' is an occasional series of posts on this blog about books that offer friendship lessons. This post provides an overview of Jeffrey Zaslow’s book new non-fiction book---in my opinion, a must-read.

April 27

Postcard from Mexico City

Read about my ill-timed trip to a destination wedding in Mexico

April 21

A Friend Who Drinks Too Much

How do you handle a friend who drinks too much? It isn’t easy but here are some tips.

April 20

In Friends We Trust---Until they let us down

Can you salvage a friendship once trust is lost? Read a letter from a disappointed friend.

April 15

Friends Don’t Judge---or do they?


Some people feel that friends shouldn’t judge each other. Other people feel just as strongly that while they shouldn’t judge a friend, per se, they should be honest and tell her when she is doing something potentially risky or hurtful. See where this women came out on the issue.

April 14

Five Common Pitfalls of FemaleFriendship

I was honored to be a guest blogger on GirlfriendCelebrations.com. I wrote about some common landmines and they can be avoided.

April 12

The Friendship Challenges of Teens with Autism


Because April was Autism Awareness Month, I blogged about some of the special challenges faced by teens with autism.

April 11

Girlfriend Getaways: Time to Reconnect and Recharge

Read my interview with MaryBeth Bond, author of 50 Best Girlfriend Getaways. Why are these vacations so inspiring?

April 10

Me, Me, Me: When Friendship is a One-Way Street


How do you handle a one-sided friendship? Well, don’t be too quick in answering. What if she has a panic disorder?

April 7

Feeling Used by A Friend

How do you handle a friend in an abusive relationship who only needs you when she’s on the outs with her boyfriend?


March 29, 2009

Have you been reading the posts on The Friendship Blog this month?

I'm sorry that my posts have been intermittent but I’m working hard on finalizing the manuscript for my book, now entitled, Best Friends Forever: Surviving A Break-Up With Your Best Friend (Overlook Press, Fall 2009).

My special thanks to each of you who have posed questions, made comments, and joined me on this journey to better understand female friendships!

This is the month-in-review:

March 29, 2009

Big Hurts, Little Hurts, and Apologies

My thoughts on how to make a meaningful apology when you’ve disappointed a friend

March 17, 2009

Junior High Redux: Bounced from a Mom’s Group

A reader writes about how being excluded from a mom’s group harked back to her days in junior high

March 13, 2009

America can no longer afford to fail our citizens with serious mental illnesses

A bit off-topic, but important. Can our country tolerate a grade of “D” for the way we provide services and supports to people with mental illnesses?

March 4th, 2009

Michelle Obama: First Lady, First Friend

When the First Lady held a Girls’ Night In at the White House, I immediately said to myself, “Michelle is the type of person I would love to have as a friend.”

March 2nd, 2009

Friendship and Money: Minimizing Losses

Given the uncertainties of the global economy, money seems to be on everyone’s minds these days. This is the second part of a two-part interview on Friendship and Money with MSN Money columnist Emma Johnson.

The Friendship Blog Newsletter - February 26, 2009

Have you been reading my posts on The Friendship Blog this month? If you haven't, this is what you've missed:

February 1
Co-rumination: Is it healthy for adolescents to rehash their boy problems?
A research study looks at the impact of adolescent girls who constantly talk to one another about guy problems

February 2
Bonding when things go bad
A post about a female support group called Dating a Banker Anonymous (the women who started the group later admitted that their story, published in the New York Times, was an exaggeration)

February 3
Reader Q & A: By love possessed
A reader writes about her overly-possessive friend

February 5
A "good enough" friend
A reader is haunted by a friend who has told her she isn’t “good enough”

February 8
Girlfriendology: Inspiring Female Friendships
An interview with Debra Hauppert, the girl behind Girlfriendology, an online community for women that aims to celebrate, appreciate and inspire women

February 9
For Better or For Worse: Weddings and Friendship

Part 1 of an interview with wedding expert Sharon Naylor, author of 35 wedding books

February 11
What to do and say when your friend gets a pink slip
A link to my podcast on Girlfriendology on how to handle a friend who gets fired

February 11
She's Just Not That Into You: Six ways to know when a girlfriend's a frenemy
My advice on how to recognize a friend who’s not a friend (also appeared on The Huffington Post)

February 12
Friendship by the Book: Second Chance by Jane Green
My thoughts about this latest book by chick-lit author Jane Green

February 12
Valentine's Day: Not Just for Lovers
A new look at what Valentine’s Day means to friends, a memorial tribute to my dad

February 16
Double Trouble: Losing two friends at once
A reader writes about her misfortune of losing two close friends in close succession

February 17
For Better or For Worse: Weddings and Friendship - Part II
The second part of my interview with wedding expert, Sharon Naylor

February 20
Just Do It: Putting a fractured friendship behind you
A reader expresses her discomfort in getting past a friendship that has fallen apart

February 22
Reader Q & A: Unable to let go
A reader is unable to let go of a toxic friend who always causes her great pain

February 23
Friendless in Seattle
How can a middle-aged woman be unable to keep a friend?

February 24
Friendship and Money: She's fired, you're not

The first part of an interview with journalist Emma Johnson, who covers money and finance topics for MSN.com

February 25
A writer asks: How could my colleague and friend undermine me?
A colleague of mine expresses her disappointment at being shafted by a writer-friend


February 26
Till Kids Do Us Part: A BabyCenter.com interview on pregnancy, motherhood and friendship
Kristina Sauerwein’s two-part interview with me on BabyCenter.com

And the month still isn’t over! Well, it almost is---and if you live in the northeast like me, we'll all be happy when the bitter winter months morph into spring.

My blog readership is on a steady ascent, thanks to you. My book is slated for publication by Overlook Press this coming September, finally.

Please continue to visit my blog and share your questions, comments, anecdotes, stories and thoughts about your friendships (including the ones that got away)---and to share the URL with your real friends, Facebook friends, and MySpace friends.

I'd also very much appreciate your signing up to be my fan on The Huffington Post and chiming in there when you have something to add.

In friendship,
Irene

You received this newsletter because you signed up for it---if you've changed your mind, just let me know and I'll remove your name from my mailing list. 

 

January 29, 2009

Dear Friend:

Thanks for subscribing to my newsletter. The latest post on my blog is called The Sometimes Friend.


It responds to a letter from a reader named Tara, who has trouble making the "best friend" cut and who seems forever relegated to the lonely role of the "sometimes friend." I've given Tara some advice about how to overcome this hurdle and develop more intimate relationships. Please feel free to join in the conversation if you have other thoughts to add.


I was excited to learn this week that my book, Best Friends Forever: Surviving the Myth will be released in September, 2009 by Overlook Press.

 

Please know how much I enjoyed blogging and interacting with women across the world who are as interested in female friendships as I am. Talking openly about our friendships enables us to learn so much from each other. As always, I appreciate your visiting my blog and sharing your questions, thoughts and concerns.

 

I think I've worked out the kinks so I can send these mailings to you more regularly (Well, actually it was my son who worked his magic!). 

 

Best,
Irene

Irene S. Levine, PhD
Freelance Journalist & Author
Professor, NYU School of Medicine

You are receiving this newsletter because you signed up for it. If you have changed your mind and don't want to receive these brief updates, please email me at: irene@fracturedfriendships.com and I'll remove you from my mailing list.

 

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