A 15-year-old is upset that she’s been banned from seeing someone her mom sees as a “bad friend.”
I am 15. I have a friend who I met four years ago in 7th grade. She was going through the hardest time. So she said things to me that hurt and being that young, she made me cry. I have forgiven her and we’ve only had one fight since then.
My mom HATES her and requested I not speak to her anymore. I love her so much and she is my best friend and she has changed since then. But my mom still believes she is manipulating me. My mom banned me from any contact with her. What can I do?
I know that when I was 15 years old, I wanted to choose my own friends, too. But as a mom, I know that adults often see things differently than their teenage daughters (or sons) do because of their age and past experiences. Moms also tend to be protective of their kids.
It sounds like your mom cares about you very much, and no mom wants to see her kid “manipulated” or hurt by a friend. While you may feel like you know your friend better than your mom does, your mom may see some things that you don’t because you feel so attached to your friend.
In this situation, I don’t think you have any choice but to respect your mom’s wishes unless you can convince her otherwise.
My advice would be to let some time pass so that you and your mom can have a relaxed conversation. Try to listen to your mom’s point of view and express yours. Find out if your mom thinks that your friend evokes something negative in your own behavior.
If you think your mom’s concerns are misplaced, ask her if she can give you another chance to be friends with this girl. Your mom might be more reassured if you could show her that you are simultaneously making efforts to cultivate friendships with other girls, too.
Hope this helps.
Previously on The Friendship Blog: