Having been turned down, a woman asks how can she go forward?
One of my best friends turned down our invitation and is not going to my son’s wedding—for no good reason. We have just attended her son’s wedding two months ago in which my son was a groomsman. Her son will be a groomsman in my son’s wedding, too.
We have been friends for 15 years. I know it is not financial as they just bought a new car, go to numerous weddings and are planning a trip to visit friends out of state which involves flying.
I have a feeling it’s her husband that does not want to go for whatever reason but my friend has given me no explanation. I feel she will just give a lame excuse and does not consider how badly my feelings are hurt.
She has many friends and is very social. I would never have missed her son’s wedding, as both of our sons are very close. I know this will affect our relationship going forward and not sure how to proceed. Please advise how to handle this. Thank you!
Congratulations on your son’s upcoming wedding. Milestones like this don’t come around too often so I understand your disappointment that your good friend turned down your invitation and won’t be there to share the day with you.
Although she hasn’t explained the reason(s), I’m sure your friend didn’t make this decision lightly. If it has to do with her husband and it was his decision, she may feel as if she doesn’t want to betray him by telling you that. Alternatively, there may be a host of other reasons, totally unrelated to you, that led to her decision.
I would simply say something like this to her:
“I’m very disappointed but I know you must have a very good reason.”
This would open the door for her to add further explanation if she feels comfortable doing so. If she doesn’t and she’s a good friend, try to forgive her. Don’t let it interfere with your enjoyment of the wedding day. I think your friend is likely to feel as badly about this as you do.
Hope this helps!
Category: KEEPING FRIENDS