It’s disconcerting when your best friend doesn’t see what you see in him~
I have a disturbing
scenario. My very best friend, whom I consider my older sister, is five years
older than me. She is married, happy with her relationship, and has a good job,
car, house and everything. On the other hand, I’ve gone through a painful break
up. During the four months after the break up, she was a great support during
this horrible time of my life. She did everything she could possibly do, even
going the extra mile for me.
However, after the
breakup, I found an amazing guy whom I have now been dating for 5 months.
My friend has been acting very weird. When she first met him, she pointed out
that he was the perfect guy for me. Now she doesn’t like me spending time with
When I go and sleep
over at his place she starts fuming. She used to do the same thing before she
got married so I don’t see anything wrong with that. When we discuss it, she
makes up lame excuses. My boyfriend had also noticed this and she refuses to
hang out with both of us as we had in the past.
Once she told me, "Just
wait until he breaks your heart. Then don’t come crying to me." My boyfriend has
been understanding and tries his best to please her for my sake. He tells me to
invite her when we go out together but it’s not working. She is moody all the
time with me now because of this guy. How do I deal with her? Why can’t I have
a good relationship too? Please help me. I’m losing it. Please help me here…
am losing it
Either your friend
has a problem with your boyfriend or with the fact that you have a boyfriend.
Since she’s like an older sister, my hunch is that she may be making an honest
effort to protect you from getting hurt again. Another possibility is that she
is overly possessive.
You need to have a heart-to-heart with your friend to really figure out what’s going on.
Tell her how much you value her friendship and opinions, and ask her what her specific
concerns are about this relationship. Let her speak openly and listen to what
she is saying.
If you disagree with
her opinions about your boyfriend, you may have to agree to disagree for the
time being. It sounds like you don’t want to give up your friendship or the
guy, so the solution is to keep the two separate.
Hope this helps.