How do you handle a friend who never supports your relationships with men?
My spinster best friend is dragging down my love life! We are very close and talk about everything but I’ve noticed over the years that she is NEVER supportive of my relationships with men.
I don’t date often, so when I do find someone, it’s very special. No matter who the guy is, she has something negative to say about him and about why the relationship will never work out.
Should I downgrade her to a friend that I don’t disclose my love life to? Is that even a best friend anymore?
Ouch! If you are referring to your friend as a spinster, that certainly isn’t a term of endearment. It sounds like you’re at the breaking point with your “best friend” and may have good reasons.
Your friend may feel jealous of your dating men and/or feel threatened that your relationship with a male friend would dilute your relationship with her.
Clearly, it’s reached the point where you need to change something about this friendship. Have you openly discussed your feelings with your friend? Could it be that she lacks insight into the way she is treating you? Since you were once close friends and have a history together, do you think she merits a heart-to-heart conversation before you downgrade her?
If you have given her (and you) this opportunity—or feel that it would be useless to do so—or wouldn’t feel badly about the loss of the friendship at all, there’s no reason why you should continue to consider her a best friend, certainly not one with whom you can share your love life.
Hope this helps.