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Ask the Friendship Doctor


October 1, 2012 | By | 12 Replies Continue Reading

Friendships are among the most complex but meaningful relationships in our lives. These unique bonds often run deeper than family ties, and sometimes last longer than our relationships with spouses or lovers. Yet there are few agreed-upon ground rules or roadmaps…

Because of the cultural and social taboos associated with failed friendships, it’s not unusual to feel embarrassed and/or uncomfortable when a friendship ends or goes awry. For a variety of reasons, it may be difficult to talk about what happened, both to other people around you or with the person who once was your friend. Yet, most of us yearn to better understand what happened so we can repair a fractured friendship or avoid the same landmines in the future.

Dramatic changes in the ways women live, work and communicate have made navigating the terrain of female friendships even more daunting. This website aims to help readers navigate the awkward misunderstandings and disappointments—as well as the long silences and distance—that often crops up among friends.

It organizes the expert advice that The Friendship Doctor has dispensed over the years along with the crowd-sourced wisdom of thousands of readers from every walk of life. As new questions and dilemmas arise, they are added to the site.

The archived posts are organized according to the below categories:

  • Making Friends
  • Keeping Friends
  • Resolving Problems
  • Handing Breakups
  • Having No Friends, and
  • Other Advice

How to use the site

There are a number of ways you can use this site:

  • You can read the Archives of postings and comments, which are organized both chronologically and by category.
  • You can search the various Categories of information (highlighted in the circles at the top of the page) to read about issues relevant to your concerns. There are many subcategories within each main category. If you’re particularly interested in a main category, you may sign up for its RSS feed (click on the category button and then look for the   icon by the name of the category).
  • You can used the drop-down menu on the right navigation bar of the home page to Read About Specific Topics.
  • You can use the Search box located at the top of the right navigation bar on the home page to look up information on a particular topic.
  • You can read recent posts from The Friendship Doctor on the Front Page of the blog.
  • You can mingle in the Forums section of the blog to exchange information and experience with other posters.
  • If you aren’t able to readily find an answer to your question or dilemma, you can use the Contact Form to write to The Friendship Doctor. Time permitting, I try to answer as many of them as I can that offer teachable lessons for others, and don’t repeat the themes of previous posts.

I hope you’ll take a moment and sign up to receive free weekly email updates with links to my latest posts. You can request to have them delivered to your in-box by entering your email address in the gray box on the right side of the Home page on The Friendship Blog.


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Category: How to Use This Site

Comments (12)

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  1. Dustin Julian M. Domingo says:

    Hello, I am 17 years old and I am in college. Last year, I had this college professor who’s probably as old as my dad, which is around 40+ years old. I’ve never been open to anybody of any age nor have I been willing to pursue a friendship. But this man, my professor has been one of the most interesting, warmest, and kindest person I can talk to. Trouble is, he’s always busy and he’s not used to this kind of behavior from any student, let alone males. See, what I do is I give him personally written letters, ask questions, and just show general interest in wanting to hang out with him or help him out. He told me I make him feel uncomfortable, which, according to him, is not good or bad, it’s just his personality. See, he comes from a family of mostly males and I come from a family of mostly females. Obviously, there are differences between us judging from the backgrounds. Now, what I can I do to warm him up to the idea of having a male student friend and how do I make him comfortable with it? Note that there is no problem with the student-teacher ethics thing. That is definitely not the problem. Another problem is, while I am still unable to win him over, I feel as though I cannot stop thinking about him and I don’t feel the need to stop pursuing this friendship. Also, is this site just for women or can men, like myself ask for help, also?

  2. paulune says:

    I’ve been on my own now 5yrs since my husband past away suddenly I relies I’m on my own tryed contacting freinds and they done want to know so I am now just me no freinds to talk to or go out with I’m 57yrs old and alone the depression has set in and can’t shift it my docter says I need to go outand meet people but don’t know were to go

  3. HawkSniper says:

    please reply back to my post
    i am really mad and screwed up

  4. JEMAR says:

    please answer..thanks guys

  5. JEMAR says:

    hi.. question?
    what is the comparison and contrast about friendship and romantic relationship?

  6. Aydee says:

    Hi, (still learning Inglish, so try and sound it if you can’t read it please LOL)
    I made a decision to end my 10 year long friendship, the worse thing is that my little girl who is 8 has been best friends with MY friends little girl who is only 4 months younger than Bella, my daughter. my friend and I got some issues that started right after their baby was born, jelousy and envy about how smart and advance to even the looks of my girl, their girl is a cutie to me, but sadly she always made coments to me about how ugly her baby is and how pretty mine is, in a joking manner but not really if you know what I mean. as the girls grow, Bella continue to overachive on anything, even so Juliana (their daughter) is a smart and can play soccer extreemly well, never have the confidence and has been very shy. One of the issues is this, after a desagreement, my friend made some remarks about my doughter, that confirmed once againg that they are so angry at Bella’s successes at school and all. how can i explain to my girl that we can no longer be friends? I mention to her that we are not going to their house or them coming over, that we need a brake from each other, but she continuo to ask. i finally told her that even so I love my friend, she did something that i cant no longer allow in our lifes, and she was debastated to know that her friendship with Juliana will also suffer. i hate putting her throught this, i know the feeling of loosing a friend.

  7. sam says:


    They say friendship is the best thing happned to someone, but if the same friendship has a sky high jelousy and ego that refrains one to come and apologise? There are several things you are doing to get your friend back but its only ego jealousy and hell of a self -respect holding the other person back, what can be done?

    It disturbs me to know that there are examples set in front of me where you need to satisfy egos, say sorry always,and be on knees for a life time.

    No one is perfect learns from their mistakes. Is expecting at least something in return a big deal? does it make a person a “cheat”?

  8. Don says:

    Hi Everyone,

    I never had the loneliness issue’s. I lost wife 7 years ago, and have been out of a relationship of 4 years. I have always taken life for what it is. To enjoy and be helpful. I alway looked at life as an adventure. Up’s and Down’s but always made the best if every life situation. Always happy ….. Being happy is something that one has to focus on with self and in a relationship. This I believe is the key… Or at least, for me. So, if you want to be happy…. Write me…. Happiness is contagious!

    • Jan says:

      Hi Don
      You sound like you have life all figured out. Well done. You would be a great friend to have.

  9. Ramz says:

    My friend is really angry with me and does not respond to my call or messages. I have apologized many times and tried to keep in touch but my friend does not even bother to respond. I want to continue my friendship with her and I don’t have a clue how to make her understand. Our misunderstanding was for a very silly reason. Please advice, how can I make her understand or should I let her go?

    • Jan says:

      Hi Ramz,
      When all else fails – sometimes “time is the best healer” especially in in situations like this where you have exhausted all other avenues. You might just have to be patient and give your friend some breathing space to work it out and come to terms with things in their own way first. After giving it reasonable time “try again”. If it still doesn’t work you may have to come to terms with the fact that this person has moved on.

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