Many books on mothering mistakenly focus exclusively on the children. I
recently tripped over a little book (143 pages crammed inside a cover with the
same dimensions as a 4×6 index card) that offers a lot of wisdom, including
a chapter on the importance of friendship in the lives of mothers.
Every Mom Should Know (Quirk Books, 2012) by Heather Gibbs Flett and
Whitney Moss is a sweet, eminently readable, gift book for the new mom with
practical hints ranging from "how to sing a baby to sleep" to "how to make a
grilled cheese sandwich." It also has a chapter on "How to Meet Other Moms,"
something often asked about on my blog.
The authors, Heather and Whitney are the voices of the popular mommy
blog, RookieMoms.com. With permission of the authors and the publisher, that
brief chapter but very relevant chapter is reprinted below:
How to Meet Other
other moms to connect with is critical to one’s mental health. If your existing
pool of friends isn’t brimming with babies right now, try to meet some new
women with whom you can compare notes on feeding, sleeping, not sleeping, and
um, not sleeping.
meet other moms include a first-time mother’s support group, breast-feeding support
group, prenatal and postnatal yoga classes, baby gym and music classes, and
library and bookstore storytimes for babies. Show up at the same place week
after week and you’ll certainly see some familiar faces.
Need some pickup lines?
"Do you come here often?" is actually relevant and not at all a creepy
way to strike up a conversation with another mom when you’re trying to get to
know a new setting. If you are truly shy, cling to some of these basic
so cute! How old is she?"
love his shoes. Do you remember where you got them?"
have the same [piece of gear] at home, but haven’t quite figured out how to use
it. Can you show me?"
is a new mom’s best friend. From discussion boards to mommy blogs to
neighborhood e-mail lists, you just might find the support you need, right when
you need it. Three phrases to Google:
- "birth club" and the month and year of your
- "play group" and the name of your
neighborhood or town
- "moms who" and the term you are passionate
about such as "cloth diaper" or "run marathons."
Show your true colors
While a sunny disposition is
indeed an excellent quality through which to attract new friends, just be sure
to keep it real when you do have the chance to talk to other moms. Be brave
enough to say things like "I’m having trouble with X" or "I hope I’m not the
only mom here who thinks . . ." and
you’ll invite a more authentic connection with a like-minded mom.
by the Book" is an occasional series of posts on The Friendship Blog about books that offer
Some prior posts on The Friendship
Blog about making friends:
Mother Finds It Hard to Make Friends
do some women have such a hard time making friends: Nature or nurture?
would someone have no friends?
making close friends?