Straight girls, how do you take it when a lesbian friend/BFF romantically likes/loves you?
This topic contains 145 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by Anonymous 1 year, 2 months ago.
January 15, 2012 at 8:24 am #61253
It’s normal to stay away because it’s AWKWARD! I would feel uncomfortable with a man I was platonic friends with approaching me with romantic feelings. We’ll…it’s just plain…awkward. And if the friend is lesbian, even.more.awkward. If your lesbian friend wasn’t interested in a relationship or anything of that nature, why mention her attraction? Not a good move. If I were on the receiving end I would wonder if the lesbian friend has had or continues to have hidden romantic thoughts.
awkward. Uncomfortable. Uneasy
January 15, 2012 at 12:54 pm #61256
thanks for your perspective.
My friend said she wasn’t really interested in a relationship with the straight friend for some other reason but thought she should be honest or owe her friend the truth because my friend wants an honest friendship. It would feel like a lie long term if she keeps it to herself. She was in the process of letting go of the feeling, never really pursued the straight girl or anything.
I do agree about the awkwardness though. I would feel really awkward myself. But do you think the friendship will survive after this? I mean, in your opinion, how can one restore friendship with all this awkwardness? What can my friend do?
January 15, 2012 at 2:43 pm #61257
and I think I would be concerned that by continuing to be friends with that person, whether they were same or opposite sex, I would feel like I might be leading them on and giving them false hope.
January 15, 2012 at 7:56 pm #61267
I completely agree w/the previous posters with respect to the awkwardness about the situation after your lesbian friend divulged her romantic feelings to this friend. There are probably a ton of things that people feel they should be completely transparent about. But one also must consider the consequences if they elect to do this also. Usually in any kind of relationship, whether they be gay or straight I think when one party is going to the point of confessing feelings as such, is not just because we can then go around saying, “well, at least I was honest w/so and so.” It’s done I believe to probe the waters, and to see what kind of a reaction one will get from the person on the receiving end of it. In this case, the other person isn’t lesbian, so of course a continued friendship probably would be uncomfortable for someone in her shoes. This is why I’m of the belief that one thing is to be honest.
But if honesty then is somehow attached to exacting a reaction out of the other party, as in this case, well your lesbian friend yes, was very honest, but also w/possibly some expectations also. So it could be why the other friend could feel a friendship would be difficult to maintain, and people decide to distance themselves. Hope this makes sense and helps.
January 16, 2012 at 12:41 am #61269
I think it will be hard, but if BOTH are willing to try it can work. It may even be an even better friendship. I believe in honesty, but also believe in an internal filtering system that helps determine what say out loud and keep to ourselves.
And if your friend was “letting go of the feeling” I don’t why she felt it was dishonest to stay quiet.
I also wonder how your lesbian friend developed feelings for a straight woman? Was the straight friend (as the other poster questioned might happen or be misinterpreted) leading your lesbian friend on? Or was your friend somewhere deep down there may be a slight chance w/the straight friend?
Just thinking…thanks for posting this thought provoking aspect of friendship woes that appears new here.